Your Comfort Zone - aka The Dream Killer

Hey there,

You know, we all want to be happy. If at all possible, ecstatic! Am I right? Of course, you can only stay in that state for so long though. After awhile, even the greatest vacations end. Then, you are back to reality my friend. That brings me to another point - the "comfort zone". Are you pretty comfortable right now in your life? Well, maybe you shouldn't be. Let me explain why.

Are you doing things on a daily basis that cause you discomfort? I’m not talking about real pain, just things that make you try harder, break through fear barriers, and in general cause you mental distress. If not, then you aren’t growing as a person – and probably never will! Ouch, what a slap shot, sorry about that. But it’s true!
The fact is that most people want to be successful in life, but never stop to think what it will really take to get there in their chosen field. If it means going back to college for 2 years of night school, could you do it? If it means to start your business you would need to work 16 hour days for a year or two (or more), could you do it? How about if it meant reading a book a week for about 6 months in order to really master a new skill? If you aren’t prepared to do any of those things because they are outside of your comfort zone, then you can forget being successful. I guarantee you will never reach your goals in life. Unless your goal is to be ordinary.

Yes the biggest dream killer by far is the dreaded “comfort zone” which most people live in their entire lives. And the funny thing is that people just can’t wrap their heads around the fact that people who have reached some success get tons of time to just relax, but only because they’re earned it! If you haven’t built a successful business, or in some way built a career that allows you mucho free time, then you are stuck in the grinding world of nine-to-five like everyone else. So how comfortable is that? Not very, if you ask me.

So what can you do about it? Well, find a way to make something happen in your life, build a business around your favorite hobby. Or write a book and publish it. Or take a course in stock trading and become an expert at that, working on making enough money to retire. But rest assured, if you don’t take massive action that puts you way out of your comfort zone, you will never be successful at much of anything. I promise – and I don’t make many promises! Visit us at our new retirement blog: earn extra income in retirement

Find Happiness by focusing on the wins

Hello again,

This is going to sound a little silly, but what do you like better – winning or losing? Ok, we all like winning. Kind of a no-brainer, right? So why do so many people focus instead on their losses in life instead of the wins?

Gotcha thinking now, huh. You are probably saying “but I never focus on losses!”, right? It would seem that way, but if you consider our underlying thought process, any time we set out to try something new, or perform a difficult task, in the back of our minds we have this little voice saying “don’t mess this up again, like last time”, or “please don’t embarrass yourself again” or something to that effect. It’s like we’re priming ourselves to fail, almost. For me, it happens when I have an important project to complete at work, and I’m under pressure. I know what I’m doing, but at the same time I know if I make one little mistake, or leave something important out, I will be chastised by the boss. Or worse yet, something will effect the company bottom line and I will really hear about it! But if I know what I’m doing, why does that sliver of doubt have so much weight?

Another way we sometimes focus more on negatives instead of the positives in life, is just about anytime we try to make an improvement in our lives. Whether it’s interviewing for a new job, applying for a loan for a home or new car, or working on a new relationship that we have want so badly to work out. Our belief system kicks in, and before you know it there’s that little voice again saying “I don’t deserve this, really”. Maybe you have learned to ignore that little subconscious voice, but you know it’s still there, right? And the thing is, that voice seems to be louder when we’re about to do something really important to us. I think there is a direct
correlation to the negative voice and the importance of what we are doing!

Ok, here’s an example…I was planning my daughters birthday party recently, and wanted to have it in a local park. Great place for party’s because you don’t have to clean up! Anyway, I suddenly got this scary thought…what if it rains?! Oh, no! What then? It will be ruined! Just it was…never before. That’s right, we had her party there last year, and it was perfect weather. So what was I worried about? That little voice kicked in big time! Why do I listen.

From now on, when I hear that little voice, I’m going to train myself to immediately think of the opposite. That’s right, if a negative pops into my head, I will immediately think of the exact opposite and how that situation is much more likely to happen! So instead of getting rain for the party it will be totally gorgeous. Instead of making a mistake or being late for that project at work, I’m going to nail it and get a huge raise. Instead of being tired when I go to the gym tomorrow, I’m going to say “wow, I’m so energetic today, where’s it coming from?”. And it will all be true, because I planted another little voice, one that’s positive all the time. Make it a habit, and I will be totally set!

It may sound ridiculously simple to say you’re going to do that, but it really can be done. If you have a habit of thinking of the worst that may happen, just focus on the positive things that happen in your life. Pretty soon you will notice more and more positive things happening, and realize that your focus is changing your reality. Focus on the “wins” in your life, and you will most certainly have more of them. I promise…

To your continued success and happiness!

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More success tricks I've learned recently

Hello again,

You know sometimes I surprise even myself. I've read probably close to one-hundred self improvement books, worked on being more focused and productive, and just as I'm starting to think maybe I have it down things go into overdrive. Let me explain...

My last post I was blathering on about being unfocused, right? Ok, so I really took the time to find a few new ways to solve that little problem, because 1) my job is really changing, and it's harder and harder to "fake" working anymore...lol 2) I can really see myself working from the house very soon, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me...Alas, my bank account says "NO", so I keep working anyway. Then I get this brilliant idea to make a checklist, and so I start making a list of things I need to do with my business on a daily basis. Starting out slowly, it's now up to about 18 things! I need to do these every day, too. So I give it a shot, right?

Wow, that was just what I needed! It was as if my life was automatically brought into focus for me, no longer sitting in my chair at the computer wondering what to do next...I have a list, so I just go down the list, in order, and do each little thing one by one. Pretty soon I'm almost done, and I've accomplished more in 2 hours than I've done for quite some time. It actually works! Yeah, I know. That was supposed to be the plan, duh. But really, it's like a fog has been lifted, and I see myself getting much more done. This after trying to put short-term goals in writing, which only "half" worked because when I didn't quite reach my goals I would be somewhat disappointed. With the list, it's like a daily reminder for me to do each thing, one by one, until completed. I take notes on certain things that for whatever reason can't be done, then make sure they are done the next day.

I truly recommend this method to anyone, start a list of tasks, with the date, name of the task, notes for specific tasks (such as writing stats, numbers, additions), and any other column if you want. Do it every day! This has to be the rule, if you start missing a few days you won't make it a habit, and it won't be of help. I'm not usually the anal retentive type, but this has got my attention. Let me know if anybody out there has used this technique before, ok? I would love to hear other success stories!


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Are you unfocused? How do you know

Hello again,

I have been working on many different areas of my business the past several weeks, and it dawned on me that maybe I wasn't being as focused as I should be. Like a dog chasing rabbits, I get distracted every time a new one pops into my line of sight!

Of course what mean is that I work on one website for awhile, then check my email, get distracted and check some new "trick" to get more traffic, then go back to what I was doing...you get the picture. Why can't I just focus on one thing until it's done?
I'm quite sure I'm not the only person that does that, whether you have your own business or not. If you just get distracted while doing one task (cleaning house, making dinner, sorting laundry, whatever) without finishing it, it's kind of frustrating isn't it? How do we combat that?

Maybe the answer isn't to stop getting distracted completely, but to at least cut down on the frequency? I'm trying out a new technique myself, but if anybody has any suggestions I would be glad to listen to them. Here is my battle plan:

1. Set a time limit to your task - "I will work on _____ for at least 30 minutes". That way you at least have a conscious plan in mind, rather than nothing at all.

2. Realize what is distracting you most, and STOP doing it - for me, checking email is like a habit. I know, it's insidious. It can be stopped though! I will check my email only X times a day from now on, and only at set times of the day. This will stop me from being so casual about it. I know in my mind there's nothing that can't wait, so make it wait while you accomplish the more important things.

3. Prioritize every thing - set up a daily list of priorities! I know, what a freekin' pain, right? But just think how much more organized you will be, and how much more work you will get done. Every morning, rise and shine - then make your list. And stick to it! Some priorities may change depending on certain circumstances, but at least you will have a PLAN. Yes, a PLAN! Don't like broken records? Well then, just do one thing... make a PLAN!

4. Most important of all, make time to play! If you are all business, and no fun, sooner or later a part of you will hate yourself. Huh? No, you will hate your life at least and won't be very happy. It's a part of my life's plan to be successful and happy, both should be equal. So do yourself a favor and live life, don't work yourself to death. Nobody every said on their death bed "I wish I would have spent more time working...."

Hey, I still expect some suggestions from the "crowd" so please, follow up! Holla back! Give me your 2 cents worth...?


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Too much about money? no way! way...

Good day,

Alright. Since I've been searching for the past week or more what's up with my low productivity level, and wondering why I'm not seeing the results I want, it occurred to me. Perhaps I'm putting too much emphasis on how much (or little?) money I've made so far, and too little on how much I've actually accomplished. I guess I have blindly followed the theory that says we have to envision the amount of money we want to receive,and then go out and put your dreams into motion and it will eventually come to you. Or something like that. Anyway, I think it's too hard for my subconscious to figure out what specific steps I need to do in order to create $20K each and every month, so I have to put in some specifics.

I know that goes against all the law-of-attraction visions that they tell you to burn into your brain, but at this point I need concrete steps in this ladder of success. For me, getting 50 more articles published in the next 2 weeks, or finishing 20 Squidoo lenses on my newest product niche are more relevant than saying "let's shoot for x number of web visits" - which is pretty much what I've been doing. I consider that if I get x number of website visits, I will be able to make y amount of money, give or take. However, the first step should be to be specific about what steps it will take to get those visits, and go from there. This is just one example of my new list of goals, short-term at least, that have been revamped completely.

I believe this is what has been the reason that I have been unproductive lately, something was not right and I couldn't figure it out. I just needed to change my focus a little bit, which is usually the problem when I don't quite know why things aren't working. I'm going to focus on more short-term goals for awhile, making a weekly list of things I need to get done, and let the long-term money goals take care of themselves. This way if I can get the little things done each day, which will add up to bigger things each week, I should be able to gauge how much progress I'm getting more specifically. Adjustments will need to be made, but the list should not change much each week. This is why it is so critical to write your goals down, in as much detail as possible, so if things aren't going well and long-term goals aren't being met, you will certainly know why. As they say, the devil is in the details!

With that said, I realize that summer is here and I will have many distractions that will rip me from my goals, both short-term and long-term. So I guess my alter ego, the one that is more fun-loving than me, will win once in awhile. So be it, I need some distractions once in awhile, eh? Wasn't it Lennon who said "life is what happens while we're busy making other plans"...

so, let's get busy! Learn more about money here: financial planning in retirement

Still moving in the right direction

Hello again,

Yes, it's been quite awhile since I wrote in this blog - about 2 months or so. I should be thoroughly embarrassed. And yet, I'm not. (btw, does the word "embarrassed" mean "with bare ass" in Greek?). I have been working very hard, and as you can see, my mind wanders sometimes. No, I can't claim ADD. I'm not dyslexic either, or just mentally unstable. I have been working on a plan to start a new website and got severely sidetracked.

What's that you say? Yes, I know blogs are meant to be updated daily. I got the memo a long time ago. I promise I will try harder, and come up with many, many ways that we can all improve our lives and become better people and not be so damn lazy all the time. Oops, did I say that out loud? Yes, I feel sometimes I am lazy, even though I do put in at least 60 hours or more (usually more) a week. That includes my regular job of course which is 40 hours, so really my business I only work about 20-30 hours per week. Which is pathetic, I know. For anybody that knows how much it takes to start a successful business, that is truly pathetic. That is why I'm writing this now. I need something to hold my feet to the fire, so to speak. Wait - what a brilliant idea! I will literally build a fire and scorch my feet everyday to remind me to work harder.

Ok, that may get dicey. Spending time in a hospital won't solve any problems, so I must think of another way. How can I motivate myself every day? I have tried the "think of how great your life will be" tactic, reminding myself how fantastic my freedom will be once I make enough money online to quit my JOB. (that means Just Over Broke, for you novices). Since that only works for awhile, I started thinking how miserable I would be if I didn't ever reach my goals. Since that is too depressing, I stopped doing that quickly. They say that we all move towards what we want, and away from what we don't want in life. However, once you "stabilize" to a middle ground, it's harder and harder to keep pushing yourself either way. The human mind wants to find a comfortable middle ground somewhere, so it's not constantly under the stress of pushing harder. The bad part is, if you don't keep pushing harder, you never get better, and if you don't get better, well it seems the status quo is kept. That is bad.

So I'm going to have to drastically change something in my thinking process to allow me to keep pushing harder, but at the same time be able to destress enough to not get burned out on it. Keep up the hard work but at the same time mix things up enough to remain creative, calm and confident. I know it can be done. I'm visualizing it as we speak. Ok as I write. Don't get picky - I know it is just a blog, but it's my life too. My next blog will detail improvements and how the whole process is shaping up. It is getting better, I feel that for certain. Visit us at our new blog: earn extra income in retirement

Believe it, and you will see it

Good day,

There is an old expression that many of you probably learned as children that goes “I will believe it when I see it!” This is the common belief that we should only believe the things we see with our eyes, and not be so gullible as to believe things blindly until proven otherwise. Where did this saying come from, and does it still hold true?

I too used to think that in order to be sure you weren’t being “played”, you should always depend on things that are proven. In most cases this means “don’t believe in hearsay, don’t take anybody else’s word for it”. We’re told to get the facts and make sure what your getting is real. But what about the things you want to change in your life, things that if you could make them happen would literally change your world for the better? These are things that you must believe in first before you can see them. I’m not sure if you have ever heard that expression before, I only heard it within the past year or so from a spiritual guru/motivational speaker named Wayne Dyer. It’s one of those messages that when you first hear something inside of you immediately clicks, and a little light goes on. At least that was my experience, I thought “wow, that really makes sense!”. It makes sense to me in a way that at the time I was trying to make some major changes in my life, and having a difficult time of it.

So what is the point of it? If you don’t truly believe in the changes you wish to see in your life, the changes that must come from deep within you, then you will not ever seem them. If you don’t believe you can be a better person, it will never be manifested. This seems so obvious, once you think it through. But we are so programmed to only believe what we first see that at it almost seems like putting the cart before the horse! What if you told a person they could cure their cancer if they believed it strongly enough? In many cases this is exactly the circumstance, however only a person who truly believes that their mind can effect changes in their body will see the results. Is this like a “chicken and egg” theory? What comes first, your belief or your results? Any time you wish to make changes using the power of your mind, the belief system is the main system of power for these changes. And the only way for that to work is to believe, to trust that you can cause things to change and then you will see the results of your efforts. This is a hard concept for some to follow, unfortunately.

So what events or ideas have caused me to change my mind about the whole “see it when you believe it” theory? Many, many people that have told their personal stories about success. People that started from nothing, or were even more disadvantaged than most people, and still found a way to fulfill theirs dreams. People like Ed Roberts, who even with polio as a child (which caused him to be a quadriplegic) overcame severe disabilities to become head of the California Department of Vocation and Rehabilitation — the first person with disabilities to hold that post. Or the story of Nick Vujicic who was born without arms or legs, and leads a normal life and even gives motivational speeches! Check his story out if you get a chance, he’s a true inspiration. I could literally recite the stories of dozens more people that created a wonderful existence for themselves only from their belief that they could. But I’m sure you know where I’m going with this already, right? Take a moment to envision the life you want, belief with all your being that it will happen, and then take that belief to the next level and see it happen.


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Boost your self esteem and find happiness

Good day,

Something has been bothering me lately, something I saw on a news story just the other day. There was this story about how popular a certain type of plastic surgery was, and it sounded as if quite a few people are getting this procedure done nowadays. Yes, very popular. We must really value our looks, I guess.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not so sure I would like to have someone cutting into my face, even if the end result would be an improvement! And the thing is? It’s not just women getting plastic surgery these days, men are as well. I’m not trying to be judgmental, mind you. I just think it’s way too common for so many people to be unhappy with their looks, and go to the extreme measure of getting surgery to fix it. Ok, that’s a little judgmental. But is there something that may be more important than having great looks? What about our internal being, our personality, how we appear to others through our actions. Isn’t that more important than our outward appearance? Maybe you agree, maybe not.

With all the money being spent on plastic surgery, and I’m sure it’s in the billions in this country, wouldn’t it be easier to try and fix our self-esteem and confidence than our faces? I certainly think so. Look, I’m not against getting surgery to fix something that’s actually broken, but just to get the “perfect” nose, or better cheek bones, or something I totally don’t understand, botox? What is that all about? Putting a poison into your skin so you don’t have that worried look all the time, wow. That would make me worry more, putting that stuff in my face! I would worry about what my self-esteem has come to, to need that kind of a fix…

So how do we deal with this problem, lack of self-esteem. Because we all know that the vast majority of people getting plastic surgery must have at least some lack thereof, what’s the answer? Self Esteem is how you feel about yourself. Image is about how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. They are closely connected because if you have a poor opinion of yourself your self esteem will be low. There are many ways to boost self-esteem, and here are a few:

1. Take an inventory of your good qualities. You may be surprised how many great things about you that go unnoticed. If you need help, just ask a friend, or better yet your mother! They know all the good things about you. Don’t hesitate to feel good about yourself!
2. Do something nice for someone. Believe it or not, doing a good deed for someone else makes you feel much better about yourself! (it’s a proven fact, jack)
3. Stay away from negative or pushy people. If you have friends or even people at work that are always negative, or seem to say things to you that make you feel badly, stay away from them! You don’t have to put up with these kinds of people, they aren’t good for you. Stay positive in your attitude, you will feel better about yourself.
4. Take time to work on things that need improvement. We all have things that we need to work on, whether it’s shyness, or difficulty in speaking up for ourselves, just know that working on these problems can make great improvements happen. Read a book specifically about your situation, then make a conscious effort to improve. You will see results!
5. Above all, believe in yourself. You are the one person that has control over what happens to you, so take control and be the person you know you can be.

Remember that building self-esteem and confidence in yourself don’t happen overnight, but it can happen if you really make the effort. After all, most people really don’t notice that your face isn’t perfect anyway. Who among us has a perfect face? Let’s work on the inside first, I promise that the last thing you will need is surgery to fix anything if you take care of your self esteem!

To your continued success and happiness!

Check out my new retirement blog: motivation in retirement

Are your moods really contagious?

Hello again,

We all know that the common cold is contagious – most of us catch at least one or more of these nasty annoyances every year. Did you know that your moods can be contagious as well? It may not seem possible, but in a subtle way we all can “catch” another persons bad mood, or good mood, depending on certain factors.

How does this happen? I’m sure you’ve been in a situation before where you’re at work, and someone comes over with something very important that they want to share with you. They seem very excited about it, and pass the good news on to you. If they are conveying to you a happy story about something or someone you also are interested in, or just a funny anecdote that you both find amusing, your mood will undoubtedly be affected at least for a few minutes. You can’t help be put in a good mood! This is an obvious way, but in a more subtle way, what if you just talk briefly with someone on the street, someone you don’t even know. You catch their expression, which seems very distressed and unhappy. Did you know you are very likely to mimic the persons expression, if only for a few milliseconds? Research shows that some people are more prone to pass on their moods due to their more frequent use of facial expressions. Others apparently are more susceptible as a recipient of this contagious effect.

According to Dr. Elaine Hatfield, a psychologist at the University of Hawaii, "Emotional contagion happens within milliseconds, so quick you can't control it, and so subtly that you're not really aware it's going on”. This is more true of very subtle emotions such as cheerfulness, melancholy or irritability, because the vast majority of emotional life, researchers have found, is in this range. Your not likely to “go ballistic” because you see someone else having a temper tantrum, luckily. But in every day life we not only pass on our moods to others, but catch certain moods from other people depending on a) the relative strength of one persons mood, compared to another person and b) the level of synchronicity that is being experienced by the two people. If one person is in a relatively depressed or sad mood, he or she will seek out another who is also in the same mood. For some reason we all seek to “validate” our moods and so it appears we feel drawn to people that share our mood at the moment. "People seek to confirm whatever view they hold of themselves, even if, for the moment, it is a negative one," said Dr. Gordon Bower, a psychologist at Stanford University who is a leader in the research on moods. "In general, you seek out people who are in the same mood you are in."

It is perhaps no surprise that people's moods affect how they see their future. On a daily basis, we aren’t aware of these subtle swings in mood. Psychologists point out that people are largely unaware that a good or bad mood is creating an optimistic or pessimistic outlook: it simply seems that the facts support one or another view. Aren’t we conscious of this? Appalling.
So how can we use this to our advantage? Ah, yes. You knew I was going to try and find a useful connection in all of this at some point, didn’t you? The lesson to be learned, if not obvious, is to stay away from depressed people! Ok, that’s probably not fair. You don’t want to seem insensitive to others feelings, so let’s just say that if you are confronted with another person that is in a decidedly bad or depressed mood, remind yourself that you are in a good mood and try not to “catch” the other persons mood. In fact it would be good if you could try your best to transfer some of your happiness to the other person, although that can many times be a difficult task!
Either way, do your best to be conscious of your moods on a daily basis. In this way you have more control over not only your mood, but also whether you are affected by the moods of others. I don’t know if some people are “carriers” or not, but if so I would want to be a carrier of good moods rather than bad. Just another of my points of happiness to strive for, I guess. And by the way, if you’re in a bad mood, keep your distance ok? Just kidding…

To your continued success and happiness!

Check out my new retirement blog here: financial planning in retirement

How much attention do we really need?

I’m writing today about something that happened very recently in the news, and I just couldn’t ignore it. It’s one of those things that you just have to pay attention to, because you think there can’t be any way it’s true! Apparently a woman in Florida went to a McDonalds restaurant where she planned on buying some “mc-nuggets” for her dinner. She ordered the nuggets, paid for them, and waited for her order. After a few minutes she was told they had run out of this fine culinary treat for which she had already paid for, but they would be glad to give her something else instead. Well, being a huge fan of the nuggets, this woman would have none of it. After being told the store had a “no refund” policy, she went outside and dialed 911 and promptly reported to the police that she couldn’t get her nuggets, and they wouldn’t give her the money back. Ok, you probably think I made this up, but no. It really happened. And the worst part is, she called three times because the police didn’t respond fast enough!

I’m not going to try and defend the McDonalds in any way, because they showed a true lack of customer service skills in this case in my opinion. However, what is it that would make a person call the police because they couldn’t have exactly the meal they ordered at a fast-food restaurant? Is this in any way a police related emergency? Of course not, any rational or even remotely sane person knows that’s not what the 911 emergency system is for. Of course, the woman was arrested and cited for abusing the emergency system, to her surprise no doubt. But what is really going on here? Can anybody take a guess? Of course, another case of someone seeking their 15 minutes of fame. Oh, yeah. She is now on every newscast from New York to California, the three audio tapes from her separate phone calls to 911 (which are recorded automatically, and are public record!) are now on more than a dozen websites including YouTube.com. Yes, she will be famous in no time! How impressive.

Why is this a common thing in our country? I’m not sure if it’s really something that happens in Europe, or Japan, or Iceland, or any other country or continent of the world. Possibly just in good ol’ US, right here, where attention can get you on TV, get you interviewed by famous personalities, and if you’re lucky get you a tour of the country on the talk show circuit. Why, some even get book deals worth millions! Just get your face plastered all over the news for doing something outrageous, whether it’s good or bad really doesn’t matter, and people start a “buzz” over it very quickly. Once you are on YouTube, forget it. You are seen by thousands in matter of hours, possibly hundreds of thousands even. Are we that starved for attention in this country? Is there some kind of payoff for doing this crap? I guess if you are the kind of person that is just starved for attention, maybe because you weren’t hugged as a child or whatever, it fills some void in your life. But really, is it worth it? This woman will quickly become the laughing stock of her town and be unable to go anywhere with being laughed at and pointed at
for months. I really hope she’s happy.

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