My Purposely Selfish Squidoo Post

Hello again,

Well it's come down to this I'm afraid, that I need post some info on Squidoo.com (one of my favorite places for free web pages) and say a few words. Why? Because I believe many of you still don't know about this site. It is a great way to get your message out there, whether you want to show off pictures of your hobby, your family, advertise for your business, tell a great story about your school or what's happening there, it's endless.

So this brings me to the "selfish" part of my post here- my links to my Squidoo pages. No, if you don't want to check them out I won't be hurt (but please, do!). They aren't all that great, anyway. Ok some are pretty good. So here they are, without further ado.

Find Health and Happiness


Make your goals do-or-die!


Happiness is a journey


The Road to Happiness

Get the power of habits

How to find more happiness

How to stay focused and achieve more

Spiritual growth and happiness

How to find success and motivation


well, there's a start for you. Hope you enjoy reading them! By the way, leave some feedback ok?

Thanks!


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More success tricks I've learned recently

Hello again,

You know sometimes I surprise even myself. I've read probably close to one-hundred self improvement books, worked on being more focused and productive, and just as I'm starting to think maybe I have it down things go into overdrive. Let me explain...

My last post I was blathering on about being unfocused, right? Ok, so I really took the time to find a few new ways to solve that little problem, because 1) my job is really changing, and it's harder and harder to "fake" working anymore...lol 2) I can really see myself working from the house very soon, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me...Alas, my bank account says "NO", so I keep working anyway. Then I get this brilliant idea to make a checklist, and so I start making a list of things I need to do with my business on a daily basis. Starting out slowly, it's now up to about 18 things! I need to do these every day, too. So I give it a shot, right?

Wow, that was just what I needed! It was as if my life was automatically brought into focus for me, no longer sitting in my chair at the computer wondering what to do next...I have a list, so I just go down the list, in order, and do each little thing one by one. Pretty soon I'm almost done, and I've accomplished more in 2 hours than I've done for quite some time. It actually works! Yeah, I know. That was supposed to be the plan, duh. But really, it's like a fog has been lifted, and I see myself getting much more done. This after trying to put short-term goals in writing, which only "half" worked because when I didn't quite reach my goals I would be somewhat disappointed. With the list, it's like a daily reminder for me to do each thing, one by one, until completed. I take notes on certain things that for whatever reason can't be done, then make sure they are done the next day.

I truly recommend this method to anyone, start a list of tasks, with the date, name of the task, notes for specific tasks (such as writing stats, numbers, additions), and any other column if you want. Do it every day! This has to be the rule, if you start missing a few days you won't make it a habit, and it won't be of help. I'm not usually the anal retentive type, but this has got my attention. Let me know if anybody out there has used this technique before, ok? I would love to hear other success stories!


Visit us at the happiness place

Are you unfocused? How do you know

Hello again,

I have been working on many different areas of my business the past several weeks, and it dawned on me that maybe I wasn't being as focused as I should be. Like a dog chasing rabbits, I get distracted every time a new one pops into my line of sight!

Of course what mean is that I work on one website for awhile, then check my email, get distracted and check some new "trick" to get more traffic, then go back to what I was doing...you get the picture. Why can't I just focus on one thing until it's done?
I'm quite sure I'm not the only person that does that, whether you have your own business or not. If you just get distracted while doing one task (cleaning house, making dinner, sorting laundry, whatever) without finishing it, it's kind of frustrating isn't it? How do we combat that?

Maybe the answer isn't to stop getting distracted completely, but to at least cut down on the frequency? I'm trying out a new technique myself, but if anybody has any suggestions I would be glad to listen to them. Here is my battle plan:

1. Set a time limit to your task - "I will work on _____ for at least 30 minutes". That way you at least have a conscious plan in mind, rather than nothing at all.

2. Realize what is distracting you most, and STOP doing it - for me, checking email is like a habit. I know, it's insidious. It can be stopped though! I will check my email only X times a day from now on, and only at set times of the day. This will stop me from being so casual about it. I know in my mind there's nothing that can't wait, so make it wait while you accomplish the more important things.

3. Prioritize every thing - set up a daily list of priorities! I know, what a freekin' pain, right? But just think how much more organized you will be, and how much more work you will get done. Every morning, rise and shine - then make your list. And stick to it! Some priorities may change depending on certain circumstances, but at least you will have a PLAN. Yes, a PLAN! Don't like broken records? Well then, just do one thing... make a PLAN!

4. Most important of all, make time to play! If you are all business, and no fun, sooner or later a part of you will hate yourself. Huh? No, you will hate your life at least and won't be very happy. It's a part of my life's plan to be successful and happy, both should be equal. So do yourself a favor and live life, don't work yourself to death. Nobody every said on their death bed "I wish I would have spent more time working...."

Hey, I still expect some suggestions from the "crowd" so please, follow up! Holla back! Give me your 2 cents worth...?


Visit us at the happiness place

What's your happiness set point?

Hello and good day,

Are you one those people that are almost always happy, no matter what is happening in your life? Well me neither, but I’ve known a few people like that in my life and it never ceases to amaze me at their natural ability to maintain a smile every day. A friend of mine is like that, and I have to shake my head in amazement when something goes wrong and he just makes a joke as if it was nothing. That is definitely a great attitude!

Is that a natural inborn thing? I think in some people it is, and really if you think about it we all have a “happiness set point” when we’re born, just a genetic predisposition like any other. Some folks have brown hair, others blonde. Some are left-handed and others are weird. Yes, I’m left-handed. Why do you ask? Anyway, it has to be like any other trait we are born with. Studies have been done on twins and results have shown that we’re born with a “predisposition to feel and express emotions within a certain range”, which varies within a certain range. However, the larger part of our happiness set point is thought to be within our power since actions we take and thoughts we control are obviously a huge part of that influence on happiness. A psychologist by the name of Martin Seligman (University of Pennsylvania) was at least partly responsible for research in this area of positive psychology. He also was one of the first to encourage other researchers to pay more attention to this positive psychology instead of focusing so much on the mentally unbalanced. Thanks, Marty!

So if you are not one of the few lucky ones that is born in a great mood all the time, what to do? Luckily there are many ways to boost our happiness, and according to researchers Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kennon Sheldon, and David Schkade there is even a happiness equation to illustrate this important relationship:
S + C + V = H (set point + circumstances + voluntary behavior = happiness). What that means is that you are born with a certain happiness set point but you don’t have to be satisfied with your life the way you are born. You can change your circumstances by making changes to your behavior. The question is, what changes should you make? In other words, what makes you happy? That is a question you will have to answer yourself, because everyone is different. Nevertheless, I really believe that is the hardest part for many people!

I know it’s insane, but many people seem to drift through life with no real “long-term” vision, which means they know what makes them happy for the moment, but not what will really fulfill their needs on a long-term basis. That, in my opinion, is the real definition of happiness. Once you figure out the really important things, you can then start making solid plans for obtaining those goals. Do I really love my job? How about my career path? How about my relationship, do I see myself staying where I’m at for the next five years, ten years, even twenty years? Am I spiritually where I want to be? If not, how can I get there? (I know I’m getting off track with the happiness set point topic, but don’t worry I will tie this all together soon). These are questions of course that people have asked since the days of Aristotle. In fact he actually said “all human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.” Well I guess that narrows it down pretty well, thanks Ari. But how much control do we really have, and how much is inborn and thus difficult to change?

The good news is that most modern psychologists say between 50% and 80% of our happiness is really under our control! (In other words, don’t try to blame your parents if you are a grump). And of course we can’t be happy all the time either, in fact it’s probably not even a realistic goal to set. But if you work on a well-defined list of characteristics that most happy people seem to present, your chances are certainly much improved. I have read that the happiest among us have these traits in common:

1. enjoy what they do for a living
2. have close relationships with family & friends
3. have a certain amount of faith (spiritual element)
4. describe themselves as optimists
5. have at least a modicum of good health
6. and last, but not least, have enough material things that they don’t worry about food or shelter for themselves or their family

I hope this helps some people put in perspective what happiness means to them, and how much we really can do to change how we feel about it. Don’t wait, make your list today and get started for your happiness.

Visit us at the happiness place for more inspiration

What direction is your life going?

Hello again,

Today’s topic is “what direction are you going” – is it in the direction of where you wish to go due to a predetermined thought process? Or, are you just going in the direction away from what you don’t want in life? There’s a huge difference, pick the wrong choice and you are doomed to a life of mediocrity. If you say to yourself “I just want out of this crazy job!” every day, instead of actively working on a plan to make a different path for yourself, you are focusing on the wrong thing completely.

I know we all get off track now and again, but many people I speak with aren’t really focused in any specific direction most of the time. Why is that? Either they don’t have well-defined goals, or they become too caught up in the “minutia” of daily life, the problems, and the setbacks, and lose their focus. First, you must have specific goals that you want to either accomplish in the short term, or long term (hopefully both!). If you don’t have written goals, what path are you following to get where you want to go? This is so critical, if you don’t have a list of written goals I want you to stop reading this right now and go take 20 minutes to make one. Don’t worry, I’ll wait…

Ok, glad you got that accomplished! Ok, so now that you’re focused on what you want in life, you don’t have to worry at all about the other stuff, right? Well, not exactly. When things don’t work out the way we planned due to some unexpected result or event, we have the power to either acknowledge the situation and move on, or dwell on “why this crap always happens to me”. Say I’m working on a way to get myself a promotion at work, and things are looking pretty good. I have suggested some ways to save the company money, and even implemented some plan that will accomplish it with little overhead. The boss is happy, I’m looking good. Then the plan has a setback, unexpectedly, when it looks like it may cost more to implement than I planned. Do I give up? Of course not, I’m so close I can taste it. This is just a bump in the road, and I will just put my mind to work and figure out a way to do it for less.

You see we all have problems and setbacks, but how you deal with them is the difference between success and failure in life. If you have a direction that you know in your heart is what you want, nothing can stop you except you! Dealing with the little things is a piece of cake, right? You have to get to a point where they are all “little things”, because you are so focused on what you want that nothing even slows you down from reaching your goals. Don’t ever avoid problems, become a super-hero of problem solving! After you get good at facing and solving problems, your success is that much closer since you will have so much more time and energy to focus on your goals rather than on problems. That way you will spend the majority of your time chasing dreams, rather than running away from problems!


To your continued success and happiness!


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