7 Things you can do to be happier, right now

Hello again,

I was thinking today about how I could possibly get myself into a better mood. You see it's been a tough week for me, I'm sure you have all had those at one time or another, right? Lately that has been my experience, in "spades" as they say. No, I'm not a poker player. If I was though, let's say I would be losing money fast.

Back to my point - I really wanted to cheer myself up in a way that would be easily done, while at work, without giving the least hint about my state of mind to anybody else. I'm not one to do backflips, or go around memorizing jokes to tell at work, or anything like that. Besides I had real work to do, so those were not options anyway. But how can I increase my mood?

One - I popped in one of my favorite Cd's to start the day. You see I'm an old school rock fan, and Steely Dan is one of my favorite bands. I blasted Katy Lied on the way to work, and I'm off to a great start. It's even better than my pick of motivational CD's that I sometimes favor, too.

Two - I had to boost my energy, I was still a little under the weather I think from fighting a cold this week. That sucks but you can't curl up into a ball every time you feel a little sick, can you? Hell, no. I decided it was my chance to fight this thing, and put myself in a mental state that would create maximum positive energy, fast. How else? Create my future. When I need a fast boost of positive energy I create a vision of what my future will be in my mind in as great detail as I can muster. Let's say it involves much less work, more freedom, a nicer car, and the comfort of a large home where I can entertain my friends in style. Sound too materialistic? Maybe to some, but try it sometime. Get into the zone, where you can feel invincible. Expand your mind to make yourself believe that you can accomplish anything and everything that you dream of, and it changes the way you feel about yourself. OH, yeah.

Three - make plans for the near future, as in the weekend. Think of something that you love to do, and just do it. Drive 100 miles to your favorite getaway spot with that special someone? Just do it. Always wanted to go skydiving? Try it now, why wait until next week or next year? Tomorrow may be too late, take advantage of right now as soon as you can. Besides having something to look forward to always makes me feel better, how about you? The anticipation is worth it, right?

Four - meet some one new, and make a friend. When was the last time you just went out on the town, or out to the store, or a movie or park, and just sat down beside someone and started a conversation? It feels great, doesn't it? That is the most fun thing to do. Of course it's more fun it that person is an attractive member of the opposite sex, naturally. But whatever you feel comfortable with...no, that's not the point is it? Get out of your comfort zone for once! That's the excitement of it, believe me. Go, try it. Report back to me...

Five - do something physical that you previously thought was beyond your physical limits. I know you could get hurt, but how bad could it be? So you try roller-blading and sprain your ankle. Big deal, right? Or go find a playground and swing on the swings for awhile, looking like a large kid who may or may not be totally lucid. Or better yet, get a real workout. Go join a gym and vow to get in shape even if it kills you. Take the challenge, push yourself for once, ok? You will thank me later I promise.

Six - Ok, I'm running out here but listen up! Try putting your thoughts into words like a journal. You will find that it loosens up your brain tremendously, the experience is very freeing. Being creative after all takes us to a higher level of consciousness, which is very good for the soul.

Seven - last but not least, do something nice or helpful for someone you don't know. Well it could be someone you know too, but it's better if you don't know them, because then you likely won't ever see them again and don't "expect" any future gain from the act. Does that make sense? Helping someone just for the sake of helping them, for absolutely no other reason. Come on, if you look hard enough you will find someone. Hang in a mall parking lot for about 10 minutes, and you find some elderly person who needs help carrying something. If you are near a busy highway, drive a few miles looking for a stranded motorist to drive to the nearest gas station. Or just compliment someone, give someone an unexpected smile for no reason. Even something this small can really make someones day, give them faith in humanity again, if even for a small amount of time. And of course it's going to make you smile, too.

Think of any more? Write me!

Visit my new site for more happy thoughts: find happiness in retirement

My Purposely Selfish Squidoo Post

Hello again,

Well it's come down to this I'm afraid, that I need post some info on Squidoo.com (one of my favorite places for free web pages) and say a few words. Why? Because I believe many of you still don't know about this site. It is a great way to get your message out there, whether you want to show off pictures of your hobby, your family, advertise for your business, tell a great story about your school or what's happening there, it's endless.

So this brings me to the "selfish" part of my post here- my links to my Squidoo pages. No, if you don't want to check them out I won't be hurt (but please, do!). They aren't all that great, anyway. Ok some are pretty good. So here they are, without further ado.

Find Health and Happiness


Make your goals do-or-die!


Happiness is a journey


The Road to Happiness

Get the power of habits

How to find more happiness

How to stay focused and achieve more

Spiritual growth and happiness

How to find success and motivation


well, there's a start for you. Hope you enjoy reading them! By the way, leave some feedback ok?

Thanks!


Don't forget to visit us at motivation for happiness

Create happiness = don't ever settle for less than your dreams!

Hello again,

Do you settle for less in life? What I mean is, if you can’t reach the highest goals you have set for yourself, do you just “give up” on them and settle for whatever you can get? It’s a very common phenomenon, but one I don’t think many people realize that they are doing. At least not consciously, if at all. Why would you give up on the dreams that you have? If you knew in your heart that you could not possible fail, and that every dream or goal that you wanted bad enough would most certainly come into being with enough effort, what would you really create in your life?

Notice, I didn’t say what would you “wish for” – because that automatically implies something like sprinkling fairy dust around and closing your eyes, hoping for the best. I don’t know if you were told, but those who wish for things rarely get much out of life. Don’t believe me? Other than some movie on TV or a kids channel, have you ever known someone to wish for something and it just came true? I didn’t think so, me neither. As kids we wish for things, not being mature enough to realize that you have to actually take action to thing happen in life.

But so many people, even when they realize this equation, don’t have enough belief in themselves to follow through and reach the goals and dreams that they really want in life. Why? I think many times we settle for less because we just don’t believe it’s possible to reach our goals. Or if you do believe it, at least a little bit, trying again and again with nothing to really show for it becomes to much of a burden. How many times have I seen people giving up on their dreams, when they could have been only a year or two away from having it all!

Are you crazy? You mean I have to work for years to reach my goals in life? Some people work hard for many, many years before coming close to their dreams. But the magic formula is if you don’t give up, you will eventually reach your goals. So how do I keep going, even in the face of little or no progress for long periods of time? Well for one thing, when you finally decide for real what you truly must have in life, not just what you want, then you take the next step and commit to it. Do you remember the scene in the original Star Wars movie where Yoda is teaching young Luke Skywalker to find his power? I will never forget his words, when Luke says “I will try”. Remember Yoda’s answer? There is no try, only “do”. That is the mindset you must have, that is what’s called a commitment! And that shouldn’t be a hard thing to do once you finally decide that you have had enough of “wishing”, enough of “trying”, and you are going to finally get serious enough to just “do”. It will change your life, like getting hit with a bolt of lightning square between the eyes. You will never settle for less again in life.


Visit us at find happiness here

Happiness - is it still possible when everything seems to suck?

Hi again,

Yes, I know. If your life sucks in a big way, then trying to be happy every day isn't just a chore, it's damn near impossible. At least for most people, anyway. You lost your job? Yeah, that is truly one of the biggest problems right now facing people in this country. What to do about - every single day is like waking up to a huge elephant in your living room. How do I know? Oh, I've been there myself of course! Not recently, but at a time when my life was sort of falling apart at the seams. I was in the middle of a divorce, losing my house, losing custody of my son most likely, and then got laid off from my job. How much worse could things get, right? I guess I had my health, but that's about all. If it wasn't for the kindness of a few friends and my parents, I would probably have been homeless.

So you are in the same boat? I hope you aren't, but if you have lost your job recently then the last thing you need is to get depressed about it. If you lose hope, you lose everything. In my opinion, anyway. That is the one thing I never lost when I was at my worst - I always knew in my mind and my heart that things would get better again. I figured it would take awhile, and it did. But if you lose hope you will take on a different approach to everything. Have you ever seen someone who is obviously depressed in public? You can tell, can't you. By the way they carry themselves, by the facial expressions they use, by their body language in general, they convey a total loss of interest in life. Can that possibly be a great way to help yourself in any way? I'm sure there are some people that really can't help themselves in any way, due to real medical issues, or mental illness. But unless your one of those, you have no excuse to be giving up on yourself. Give yourself some credit! You have amazing mental powers to do whatever it takes, right?

So I guess what I'm trying to say is if you are in a bad situation, you must make a decision to get started today and not only think positive, but consciously decide that nothing will stop you from turning things around. You know you can do it, because if other people can move on from their problems so can you. Think creatively, find help from friends or even strangers if you must, do whatever it takes to turn things around. You will find another job, you will get back whatever it was you lost, but only if you decide that you will. Remember, giving up isn't an option - so don't even consider it! Get back on the horse and ride, ok? Things can and will get better, they always do.



Visit us at financial planning in retirement

Your Comfort Zone - aka The Dream Killer

Hey there,

You know, we all want to be happy. If at all possible, ecstatic! Am I right? Of course, you can only stay in that state for so long though. After awhile, even the greatest vacations end. Then, you are back to reality my friend. That brings me to another point - the "comfort zone". Are you pretty comfortable right now in your life? Well, maybe you shouldn't be. Let me explain why.

Are you doing things on a daily basis that cause you discomfort? I’m not talking about real pain, just things that make you try harder, break through fear barriers, and in general cause you mental distress. If not, then you aren’t growing as a person – and probably never will! Ouch, what a slap shot, sorry about that. But it’s true!
The fact is that most people want to be successful in life, but never stop to think what it will really take to get there in their chosen field. If it means going back to college for 2 years of night school, could you do it? If it means to start your business you would need to work 16 hour days for a year or two (or more), could you do it? How about if it meant reading a book a week for about 6 months in order to really master a new skill? If you aren’t prepared to do any of those things because they are outside of your comfort zone, then you can forget being successful. I guarantee you will never reach your goals in life. Unless your goal is to be ordinary.

Yes the biggest dream killer by far is the dreaded “comfort zone” which most people live in their entire lives. And the funny thing is that people just can’t wrap their heads around the fact that people who have reached some success get tons of time to just relax, but only because they’re earned it! If you haven’t built a successful business, or in some way built a career that allows you mucho free time, then you are stuck in the grinding world of nine-to-five like everyone else. So how comfortable is that? Not very, if you ask me.

So what can you do about it? Well, find a way to make something happen in your life, build a business around your favorite hobby. Or write a book and publish it. Or take a course in stock trading and become an expert at that, working on making enough money to retire. But rest assured, if you don’t take massive action that puts you way out of your comfort zone, you will never be successful at much of anything. I promise – and I don’t make many promises! Visit us at our new retirement blog: earn extra income in retirement

Find Happiness by focusing on the wins

Hello again,

This is going to sound a little silly, but what do you like better – winning or losing? Ok, we all like winning. Kind of a no-brainer, right? So why do so many people focus instead on their losses in life instead of the wins?

Gotcha thinking now, huh. You are probably saying “but I never focus on losses!”, right? It would seem that way, but if you consider our underlying thought process, any time we set out to try something new, or perform a difficult task, in the back of our minds we have this little voice saying “don’t mess this up again, like last time”, or “please don’t embarrass yourself again” or something to that effect. It’s like we’re priming ourselves to fail, almost. For me, it happens when I have an important project to complete at work, and I’m under pressure. I know what I’m doing, but at the same time I know if I make one little mistake, or leave something important out, I will be chastised by the boss. Or worse yet, something will effect the company bottom line and I will really hear about it! But if I know what I’m doing, why does that sliver of doubt have so much weight?

Another way we sometimes focus more on negatives instead of the positives in life, is just about anytime we try to make an improvement in our lives. Whether it’s interviewing for a new job, applying for a loan for a home or new car, or working on a new relationship that we have want so badly to work out. Our belief system kicks in, and before you know it there’s that little voice again saying “I don’t deserve this, really”. Maybe you have learned to ignore that little subconscious voice, but you know it’s still there, right? And the thing is, that voice seems to be louder when we’re about to do something really important to us. I think there is a direct
correlation to the negative voice and the importance of what we are doing!

Ok, here’s an example…I was planning my daughters birthday party recently, and wanted to have it in a local park. Great place for party’s because you don’t have to clean up! Anyway, I suddenly got this scary thought…what if it rains?! Oh, no! What then? It will be ruined! Just it was…never before. That’s right, we had her party there last year, and it was perfect weather. So what was I worried about? That little voice kicked in big time! Why do I listen.

From now on, when I hear that little voice, I’m going to train myself to immediately think of the opposite. That’s right, if a negative pops into my head, I will immediately think of the exact opposite and how that situation is much more likely to happen! So instead of getting rain for the party it will be totally gorgeous. Instead of making a mistake or being late for that project at work, I’m going to nail it and get a huge raise. Instead of being tired when I go to the gym tomorrow, I’m going to say “wow, I’m so energetic today, where’s it coming from?”. And it will all be true, because I planted another little voice, one that’s positive all the time. Make it a habit, and I will be totally set!

It may sound ridiculously simple to say you’re going to do that, but it really can be done. If you have a habit of thinking of the worst that may happen, just focus on the positive things that happen in your life. Pretty soon you will notice more and more positive things happening, and realize that your focus is changing your reality. Focus on the “wins” in your life, and you will most certainly have more of them. I promise…

To your continued success and happiness!

Visit us at find happiness here

3taky5dxme

Are you unfocused? How do you know

Hello again,

I have been working on many different areas of my business the past several weeks, and it dawned on me that maybe I wasn't being as focused as I should be. Like a dog chasing rabbits, I get distracted every time a new one pops into my line of sight!

Of course what mean is that I work on one website for awhile, then check my email, get distracted and check some new "trick" to get more traffic, then go back to what I was doing...you get the picture. Why can't I just focus on one thing until it's done?
I'm quite sure I'm not the only person that does that, whether you have your own business or not. If you just get distracted while doing one task (cleaning house, making dinner, sorting laundry, whatever) without finishing it, it's kind of frustrating isn't it? How do we combat that?

Maybe the answer isn't to stop getting distracted completely, but to at least cut down on the frequency? I'm trying out a new technique myself, but if anybody has any suggestions I would be glad to listen to them. Here is my battle plan:

1. Set a time limit to your task - "I will work on _____ for at least 30 minutes". That way you at least have a conscious plan in mind, rather than nothing at all.

2. Realize what is distracting you most, and STOP doing it - for me, checking email is like a habit. I know, it's insidious. It can be stopped though! I will check my email only X times a day from now on, and only at set times of the day. This will stop me from being so casual about it. I know in my mind there's nothing that can't wait, so make it wait while you accomplish the more important things.

3. Prioritize every thing - set up a daily list of priorities! I know, what a freekin' pain, right? But just think how much more organized you will be, and how much more work you will get done. Every morning, rise and shine - then make your list. And stick to it! Some priorities may change depending on certain circumstances, but at least you will have a PLAN. Yes, a PLAN! Don't like broken records? Well then, just do one thing... make a PLAN!

4. Most important of all, make time to play! If you are all business, and no fun, sooner or later a part of you will hate yourself. Huh? No, you will hate your life at least and won't be very happy. It's a part of my life's plan to be successful and happy, both should be equal. So do yourself a favor and live life, don't work yourself to death. Nobody every said on their death bed "I wish I would have spent more time working...."

Hey, I still expect some suggestions from the "crowd" so please, follow up! Holla back! Give me your 2 cents worth...?


Visit us at the happiness place

Too much about money? no way! way...

Good day,

Alright. Since I've been searching for the past week or more what's up with my low productivity level, and wondering why I'm not seeing the results I want, it occurred to me. Perhaps I'm putting too much emphasis on how much (or little?) money I've made so far, and too little on how much I've actually accomplished. I guess I have blindly followed the theory that says we have to envision the amount of money we want to receive,and then go out and put your dreams into motion and it will eventually come to you. Or something like that. Anyway, I think it's too hard for my subconscious to figure out what specific steps I need to do in order to create $20K each and every month, so I have to put in some specifics.

I know that goes against all the law-of-attraction visions that they tell you to burn into your brain, but at this point I need concrete steps in this ladder of success. For me, getting 50 more articles published in the next 2 weeks, or finishing 20 Squidoo lenses on my newest product niche are more relevant than saying "let's shoot for x number of web visits" - which is pretty much what I've been doing. I consider that if I get x number of website visits, I will be able to make y amount of money, give or take. However, the first step should be to be specific about what steps it will take to get those visits, and go from there. This is just one example of my new list of goals, short-term at least, that have been revamped completely.

I believe this is what has been the reason that I have been unproductive lately, something was not right and I couldn't figure it out. I just needed to change my focus a little bit, which is usually the problem when I don't quite know why things aren't working. I'm going to focus on more short-term goals for awhile, making a weekly list of things I need to get done, and let the long-term money goals take care of themselves. This way if I can get the little things done each day, which will add up to bigger things each week, I should be able to gauge how much progress I'm getting more specifically. Adjustments will need to be made, but the list should not change much each week. This is why it is so critical to write your goals down, in as much detail as possible, so if things aren't going well and long-term goals aren't being met, you will certainly know why. As they say, the devil is in the details!

With that said, I realize that summer is here and I will have many distractions that will rip me from my goals, both short-term and long-term. So I guess my alter ego, the one that is more fun-loving than me, will win once in awhile. So be it, I need some distractions once in awhile, eh? Wasn't it Lennon who said "life is what happens while we're busy making other plans"...

so, let's get busy! Learn more about money here: financial planning in retirement

Believe it, and you will see it

Good day,

There is an old expression that many of you probably learned as children that goes “I will believe it when I see it!” This is the common belief that we should only believe the things we see with our eyes, and not be so gullible as to believe things blindly until proven otherwise. Where did this saying come from, and does it still hold true?

I too used to think that in order to be sure you weren’t being “played”, you should always depend on things that are proven. In most cases this means “don’t believe in hearsay, don’t take anybody else’s word for it”. We’re told to get the facts and make sure what your getting is real. But what about the things you want to change in your life, things that if you could make them happen would literally change your world for the better? These are things that you must believe in first before you can see them. I’m not sure if you have ever heard that expression before, I only heard it within the past year or so from a spiritual guru/motivational speaker named Wayne Dyer. It’s one of those messages that when you first hear something inside of you immediately clicks, and a little light goes on. At least that was my experience, I thought “wow, that really makes sense!”. It makes sense to me in a way that at the time I was trying to make some major changes in my life, and having a difficult time of it.

So what is the point of it? If you don’t truly believe in the changes you wish to see in your life, the changes that must come from deep within you, then you will not ever seem them. If you don’t believe you can be a better person, it will never be manifested. This seems so obvious, once you think it through. But we are so programmed to only believe what we first see that at it almost seems like putting the cart before the horse! What if you told a person they could cure their cancer if they believed it strongly enough? In many cases this is exactly the circumstance, however only a person who truly believes that their mind can effect changes in their body will see the results. Is this like a “chicken and egg” theory? What comes first, your belief or your results? Any time you wish to make changes using the power of your mind, the belief system is the main system of power for these changes. And the only way for that to work is to believe, to trust that you can cause things to change and then you will see the results of your efforts. This is a hard concept for some to follow, unfortunately.

So what events or ideas have caused me to change my mind about the whole “see it when you believe it” theory? Many, many people that have told their personal stories about success. People that started from nothing, or were even more disadvantaged than most people, and still found a way to fulfill theirs dreams. People like Ed Roberts, who even with polio as a child (which caused him to be a quadriplegic) overcame severe disabilities to become head of the California Department of Vocation and Rehabilitation — the first person with disabilities to hold that post. Or the story of Nick Vujicic who was born without arms or legs, and leads a normal life and even gives motivational speeches! Check his story out if you get a chance, he’s a true inspiration. I could literally recite the stories of dozens more people that created a wonderful existence for themselves only from their belief that they could. But I’m sure you know where I’m going with this already, right? Take a moment to envision the life you want, belief with all your being that it will happen, and then take that belief to the next level and see it happen.


Visit us at the happiness place for more inspiration

Boost your self esteem and find happiness

Good day,

Something has been bothering me lately, something I saw on a news story just the other day. There was this story about how popular a certain type of plastic surgery was, and it sounded as if quite a few people are getting this procedure done nowadays. Yes, very popular. We must really value our looks, I guess.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not so sure I would like to have someone cutting into my face, even if the end result would be an improvement! And the thing is? It’s not just women getting plastic surgery these days, men are as well. I’m not trying to be judgmental, mind you. I just think it’s way too common for so many people to be unhappy with their looks, and go to the extreme measure of getting surgery to fix it. Ok, that’s a little judgmental. But is there something that may be more important than having great looks? What about our internal being, our personality, how we appear to others through our actions. Isn’t that more important than our outward appearance? Maybe you agree, maybe not.

With all the money being spent on plastic surgery, and I’m sure it’s in the billions in this country, wouldn’t it be easier to try and fix our self-esteem and confidence than our faces? I certainly think so. Look, I’m not against getting surgery to fix something that’s actually broken, but just to get the “perfect” nose, or better cheek bones, or something I totally don’t understand, botox? What is that all about? Putting a poison into your skin so you don’t have that worried look all the time, wow. That would make me worry more, putting that stuff in my face! I would worry about what my self-esteem has come to, to need that kind of a fix…

So how do we deal with this problem, lack of self-esteem. Because we all know that the vast majority of people getting plastic surgery must have at least some lack thereof, what’s the answer? Self Esteem is how you feel about yourself. Image is about how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. They are closely connected because if you have a poor opinion of yourself your self esteem will be low. There are many ways to boost self-esteem, and here are a few:

1. Take an inventory of your good qualities. You may be surprised how many great things about you that go unnoticed. If you need help, just ask a friend, or better yet your mother! They know all the good things about you. Don’t hesitate to feel good about yourself!
2. Do something nice for someone. Believe it or not, doing a good deed for someone else makes you feel much better about yourself! (it’s a proven fact, jack)
3. Stay away from negative or pushy people. If you have friends or even people at work that are always negative, or seem to say things to you that make you feel badly, stay away from them! You don’t have to put up with these kinds of people, they aren’t good for you. Stay positive in your attitude, you will feel better about yourself.
4. Take time to work on things that need improvement. We all have things that we need to work on, whether it’s shyness, or difficulty in speaking up for ourselves, just know that working on these problems can make great improvements happen. Read a book specifically about your situation, then make a conscious effort to improve. You will see results!
5. Above all, believe in yourself. You are the one person that has control over what happens to you, so take control and be the person you know you can be.

Remember that building self-esteem and confidence in yourself don’t happen overnight, but it can happen if you really make the effort. After all, most people really don’t notice that your face isn’t perfect anyway. Who among us has a perfect face? Let’s work on the inside first, I promise that the last thing you will need is surgery to fix anything if you take care of your self esteem!

To your continued success and happiness!

Check out my new retirement blog: motivation in retirement

Are your moods really contagious?

Hello again,

We all know that the common cold is contagious – most of us catch at least one or more of these nasty annoyances every year. Did you know that your moods can be contagious as well? It may not seem possible, but in a subtle way we all can “catch” another persons bad mood, or good mood, depending on certain factors.

How does this happen? I’m sure you’ve been in a situation before where you’re at work, and someone comes over with something very important that they want to share with you. They seem very excited about it, and pass the good news on to you. If they are conveying to you a happy story about something or someone you also are interested in, or just a funny anecdote that you both find amusing, your mood will undoubtedly be affected at least for a few minutes. You can’t help be put in a good mood! This is an obvious way, but in a more subtle way, what if you just talk briefly with someone on the street, someone you don’t even know. You catch their expression, which seems very distressed and unhappy. Did you know you are very likely to mimic the persons expression, if only for a few milliseconds? Research shows that some people are more prone to pass on their moods due to their more frequent use of facial expressions. Others apparently are more susceptible as a recipient of this contagious effect.

According to Dr. Elaine Hatfield, a psychologist at the University of Hawaii, "Emotional contagion happens within milliseconds, so quick you can't control it, and so subtly that you're not really aware it's going on”. This is more true of very subtle emotions such as cheerfulness, melancholy or irritability, because the vast majority of emotional life, researchers have found, is in this range. Your not likely to “go ballistic” because you see someone else having a temper tantrum, luckily. But in every day life we not only pass on our moods to others, but catch certain moods from other people depending on a) the relative strength of one persons mood, compared to another person and b) the level of synchronicity that is being experienced by the two people. If one person is in a relatively depressed or sad mood, he or she will seek out another who is also in the same mood. For some reason we all seek to “validate” our moods and so it appears we feel drawn to people that share our mood at the moment. "People seek to confirm whatever view they hold of themselves, even if, for the moment, it is a negative one," said Dr. Gordon Bower, a psychologist at Stanford University who is a leader in the research on moods. "In general, you seek out people who are in the same mood you are in."

It is perhaps no surprise that people's moods affect how they see their future. On a daily basis, we aren’t aware of these subtle swings in mood. Psychologists point out that people are largely unaware that a good or bad mood is creating an optimistic or pessimistic outlook: it simply seems that the facts support one or another view. Aren’t we conscious of this? Appalling.
So how can we use this to our advantage? Ah, yes. You knew I was going to try and find a useful connection in all of this at some point, didn’t you? The lesson to be learned, if not obvious, is to stay away from depressed people! Ok, that’s probably not fair. You don’t want to seem insensitive to others feelings, so let’s just say that if you are confronted with another person that is in a decidedly bad or depressed mood, remind yourself that you are in a good mood and try not to “catch” the other persons mood. In fact it would be good if you could try your best to transfer some of your happiness to the other person, although that can many times be a difficult task!
Either way, do your best to be conscious of your moods on a daily basis. In this way you have more control over not only your mood, but also whether you are affected by the moods of others. I don’t know if some people are “carriers” or not, but if so I would want to be a carrier of good moods rather than bad. Just another of my points of happiness to strive for, I guess. And by the way, if you’re in a bad mood, keep your distance ok? Just kidding…

To your continued success and happiness!

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What's your happiness set point?

Hello and good day,

Are you one those people that are almost always happy, no matter what is happening in your life? Well me neither, but I’ve known a few people like that in my life and it never ceases to amaze me at their natural ability to maintain a smile every day. A friend of mine is like that, and I have to shake my head in amazement when something goes wrong and he just makes a joke as if it was nothing. That is definitely a great attitude!

Is that a natural inborn thing? I think in some people it is, and really if you think about it we all have a “happiness set point” when we’re born, just a genetic predisposition like any other. Some folks have brown hair, others blonde. Some are left-handed and others are weird. Yes, I’m left-handed. Why do you ask? Anyway, it has to be like any other trait we are born with. Studies have been done on twins and results have shown that we’re born with a “predisposition to feel and express emotions within a certain range”, which varies within a certain range. However, the larger part of our happiness set point is thought to be within our power since actions we take and thoughts we control are obviously a huge part of that influence on happiness. A psychologist by the name of Martin Seligman (University of Pennsylvania) was at least partly responsible for research in this area of positive psychology. He also was one of the first to encourage other researchers to pay more attention to this positive psychology instead of focusing so much on the mentally unbalanced. Thanks, Marty!

So if you are not one of the few lucky ones that is born in a great mood all the time, what to do? Luckily there are many ways to boost our happiness, and according to researchers Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kennon Sheldon, and David Schkade there is even a happiness equation to illustrate this important relationship:
S + C + V = H (set point + circumstances + voluntary behavior = happiness). What that means is that you are born with a certain happiness set point but you don’t have to be satisfied with your life the way you are born. You can change your circumstances by making changes to your behavior. The question is, what changes should you make? In other words, what makes you happy? That is a question you will have to answer yourself, because everyone is different. Nevertheless, I really believe that is the hardest part for many people!

I know it’s insane, but many people seem to drift through life with no real “long-term” vision, which means they know what makes them happy for the moment, but not what will really fulfill their needs on a long-term basis. That, in my opinion, is the real definition of happiness. Once you figure out the really important things, you can then start making solid plans for obtaining those goals. Do I really love my job? How about my career path? How about my relationship, do I see myself staying where I’m at for the next five years, ten years, even twenty years? Am I spiritually where I want to be? If not, how can I get there? (I know I’m getting off track with the happiness set point topic, but don’t worry I will tie this all together soon). These are questions of course that people have asked since the days of Aristotle. In fact he actually said “all human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.” Well I guess that narrows it down pretty well, thanks Ari. But how much control do we really have, and how much is inborn and thus difficult to change?

The good news is that most modern psychologists say between 50% and 80% of our happiness is really under our control! (In other words, don’t try to blame your parents if you are a grump). And of course we can’t be happy all the time either, in fact it’s probably not even a realistic goal to set. But if you work on a well-defined list of characteristics that most happy people seem to present, your chances are certainly much improved. I have read that the happiest among us have these traits in common:

1. enjoy what they do for a living
2. have close relationships with family & friends
3. have a certain amount of faith (spiritual element)
4. describe themselves as optimists
5. have at least a modicum of good health
6. and last, but not least, have enough material things that they don’t worry about food or shelter for themselves or their family

I hope this helps some people put in perspective what happiness means to them, and how much we really can do to change how we feel about it. Don’t wait, make your list today and get started for your happiness.

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The key to long-term happiness

In order to really secure a happiness that will last beyond the immediate “rush” of whatever is making you smile at the moment, you must find a balance between all of the major areas in your life. These are easily identified by most people, but we tend to forget how important each component is in our lives until some crisis in one area brings it back into focus. Many people associate only one or two different components in their lives as bringing them happiness: money, spirituality, relationships, or health. However, research has shown unequivocally that it really takes a measure of abundance in each of these main areas to really achieve a true, lasting happiness. In addition, I would add some more to the mix myself, which I will explain later.

Do have a really terrific relationship, but never seem to have enough money to feel secure? Perhaps you suffer from the opposite situation, plenty of money but never finding happiness or satisfaction from your relationships? Everyone would love to have success in both these areas of life, but how to achieve it is the question. I think we get caught up in the “motivation trap” of chasing one dream and tend to forget about all of the other things that make us happy. There is an old saying “he who tries to catch two rabbits, usually ends up with none”. How many people (especially men, I hate to say) are very driven in their careers and make good money, but end up in the hospital due to the neglect to their health? High blood pressure, poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking, they are all problems that you cannot ignore for long if you want health happiness. You might say “where do I find the time” when it comes to getting healthy?

The truth is most of us waste far more time doing little or nothing, due to our lack of focus in life. We watch TV, talk on the phone, and spend hours surfing the web (guilty as charged!). If you find you can’t exercise due to time constraints, why not fit a 30-minute workout in while the morning before work? Maybe right after work, before going home to relax and have dinner? I have found that a workout actually brings my mental energy back into focus too, which gives me more physical energy. The point is if you want to be healthy, you must find the time to exercise and the discipline to eat better food. Being a fanatic about it isn’t necessary, but some degree of attention towards our health is certainly good, right? Somewhat of a no-brainer, really.

Ok, what about the other important areas? Let’s take spirituality for example. Many people go to church or synagogue to fulfill their needs for spirituality, but do you have to in order to find true happiness? Of course not, but you may find yourself lacking a certain peace of mind if you don’t do some soul-searching once in awhile. Like a feeling that you forgot something, it will continue to gnaw at you until you fulfill this need. We all seem to have a need to believe in a higher power, and most studies show that people that have at least a belief in a higher power feel better about their lives than those that don’t. My guess is it’s a basic human desire to feel connected to this higher power, but church is also a terrific social outlet for people as well.

This brings me to another important component of happiness – relationships. I’m not just talking about husband/wife, or even the immediate family relationship (children, parents, grandparents), although those are all important, right? What about your necessity to be around others, to get out and talk with and meet new people? This is very important to a healthy personality and to happiness itself. You may know of someone that shuns social situations, and if so think about what that person’s level of happiness is. Probably not that great, I’m guessing. We all need to socialize at least some of the time, although not all people have the need as frequently as some others do.

My last pillar of happiness would have to be freedom; we all need a measure of freedom, or independence if you will, to be able to make decisions for ourselves. To feel in control of our lives at some level is quite necessary to happiness. Just think about how hard it would be for you to be happy if you had no choice about what job you could do each day, or where you could live, or what persons you were allowed to spend time with. Let alone the freedoms we take for granted like speech, freedom to leave our homes at will, and express ourselves with music, religion, taste in clothes. The list goes on forever!
I guess my conclusion is, don’t concentrate on just one area of your life thinking it will bring happiness. Sit down and make a list of the things that may need more attention, one pillar at a time, and work on bringing more abundance in that area. Your happiness level should see a definite increase!


To your continued success and happiness!

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Power of habits make your success faster

Good Day,

I was thinking about how our habits seem to shape our lives, whether it's the habit of getting up on time (or late) every day, the habit of being healthy and eating right, or habits like getting really ticked off when someone cuts you off in traffic. Do you have bad habits? I guess we all do, right? Maybe that's a hard thing to admit, but take a few minutes to think about it...I'll wait.

Did you write down 1 or 2, or a whole list of bad habits? What is the cost of those bad habits, I wonder. We all try our best to avoid bad habits, at least that's what we tell ourselves. And every year on January 1st we make our resolutions that maybe this year we can eliminate another bad habit or two. What do you think would happen if we suddenly decided to make a list of "good" habits that we wanted to start or maintain, instead of focusing on those bad habits and how to quit them? Wow, what a concept. Focusing on what we want, instead of what we don't want? I know, you don't do that. But you would be amazed at how often people do, without realizing it, they are focusing so much on what they don't want that they seem to get more of the same. That is, of course, the Law of Attraction, which basically states that you get what you think about most. So if you're trying to lose weight, don't think about how fat you are, think and focus on becoming more fit every day.

I'm getting off track here though. What I really wanted to discuss is the many good habits we could all be focusing on, not just losing weight. My list looks something like this:

1. Be unrelentingly positive at all times
2. Be focused on the bright future you have
3. Develop the habit of good moral values
4. Make discipline your daily habit
5. Make it a habit to help others, every day
6. Have gratitude for the wonderful life you have

This list is for me, I'm not saying it fits with anybody else plans for the near future. But if you really want to be a better person, reach your goals, and make the most positive and successful life you can imagine, filled with happiness not only for yourself but others around you, make a list too. Think about what you need to do in order to fulfill your life with the best you can possibly have, whatever that may be. Make your habits live up to the kind of person you know you need to be, but don't think of the "bad" ones you already have. Think of the good habits you wish to develop, the bad ones will take care of themselves soon enough when you realize you are too good to keep them. Soon, your personal power and your self-esteem will be so high that any bad habits you have will disgust you and they will be stopped. Just make sure you take action on this, as everyone the time we have is limited! So make haste and get busy....

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