I was thinking the other day about my current financial situation, and how it has drastically changed in the past year. I went from making nearly $60K a year ago to probably less than $20 this year, and that is quite a drop if I do say so myself. But this is not something that is specific to me, or my career path, but is somewhat an occurrence happening all over this country right now.
The question is - what can I do about it, and how important is it in the grand scheme of things? Yes, money is important since we need it to survive. You know, putting food on the table, gas in the car, and paying the mortgage and other bills. Other than that, is it the most important thing in our lives? In some ways, we measure our success by our income. I think way too much importance is place on it myself.
Money seems to be the yardstick we measure our success with - and each other. How much do you make? What is your home worth? What kind of car do you drive? These kinds of questions may not always come out when we first meet people, but they are certainly on most people's minds. When you meet someone for the first time, questions like "what do you do?" are really just veiled inquiries about how much money you make, although an interest in your career is certainly thrown in there for good measure. It is engrained in our national psyche...
Not that we can change that any time soon, but the way our economy is going, changes are under foot. In case people haven't been noticing, we are in a long-lasting downward trend here in America, and the manufacturing jobs are nearly gone. Many companies struggle to stay profitable, and new opportunities are the only way to stay afloat for most people.
Maybe it's time we changed our focus? Instead of focusing on jobs, the economy, and our struggle to keep up with the "Jones" next door, why not focus on family, friends, and relationships instead? Instead of using money as our yardstick to measure success, how about another scaled altogether? So when you meet someone instead of asking what they do for a living, or how much they make, we may ask "how are your family members doing" or something similar. Maybe we could get back to hanging out with friends, real friends not the ones on Facebook, and try forming real bonds with people instead of struggling to move up the ladder financially all the time.
While we're at it, why not start measuring our health quotient too? How many times have you been to the gym this week, have you gotten your blood pressure back down again? It seems to me that these are much more important questions than the same old thing - did you hear so-and-so got laid off last week? The plant is laying off again...OK, we still need jobs. But we will get by, on less. Our quality of life won't suffer that much if we all make less money, but it will suffer if we don't start thinking about how important our families are to us, our friends, and the people in our communities as well. We're all in this together aren't we?
I would love to hear feedback on this, positive or negative.
Visit my new retirement blog here:
Stay healthy in retirement
Showing posts with label success in life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success in life. Show all posts
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
References for Success? It's not what you think
Hey,
I know, it's been awhile since I've written anything at all. Shame on me! But I have been taking a break from it, working on other things. And just taking some vacation time of course, too. Of course I never stop learning, one of the things I always keep in mind is that if you aren't learning anything new your mind is probably turning to mush. And we can't let that happen, can we?
Recently I was listening to an old Tony Robbins MP3 file, something I forgot I even downloaded probably. He was talking about "creating references" in order to achieve more, something that got me thinking how much that is really true. In order to make something come true, we really have to envision it first in our minds, right? After that, we need to really believe that we can accomplish whatever it is we want to do, and imagine ourselves doing this task with complete confidence and certainty.
Creating references to our success is really about setting the stage for the picture of how our new reality will look. In order to create your future, you need to know how it's going to look, right? So why not make as many details to that picture as you can now? It's like putting together a puzzle, the more pieces of the puzzle you have in place the more that the puzzle looks like the box it came in. After awhile you really recognize things, and that makes it much easier to finish the puzzle, right? Same thing with your picture of reality - the more pieces of the "puzzle" you are trying to create, the more you will recognize your future and this will give you immense confidence that your future is really taking shape. As you get closer to the finish it just keeps getting easier and easier!
Let's put this into real life form so it's easier to understand. I knew this friend of mine who wanted to be a veterinarian, and she spoke about it night and day. How much she really wanted to work with animals, because she loved them and knew it was her "dream" job. So of course she finally made the leap and went to veterinarian school, which is really tough to get into. It took awhile, but she was very persistent and finally got in. This was the first step in her plan, because although she was around animals all her life she didn't have any formal training yet. She knew what she wanted, but wasn't totally convinced yet that she could really accomplish it. Once she finished vet school, she knew that it would take her closer to her goal of being a vet. She had to create strong references though in order to get through all of this training, because doing something this difficult was going to take a very long time to accomplish. Once she got through vet school, she had built up a huge reference that gave her more confidence in her ability to realize that dream, but she knew she still had a long way to go before the dream became her reality. After that, she had to go through an internship, and then pass a board examination to become licenses in her state. Yes, she knew what the eventual goal was and how to get it, but each step along the way was like another huge piece in the puzzle of her dream. She kept adding piece after piece, and finally it was really becoming clear that she was going to be a board certified vet, and have her own practice! When she first started, she wasn't convinced that it would happen. But as she got closer and closer, the picture was very clear.
This is just one example of how references build our confidence and create our reality, by reinforcing the picture each step of the way. Yes, it takes time to create a new reality for yourself. But that's what dreams are for, aren't they? Check out my new retirement blog here: motivation in retirement Thanks!
I know, it's been awhile since I've written anything at all. Shame on me! But I have been taking a break from it, working on other things. And just taking some vacation time of course, too. Of course I never stop learning, one of the things I always keep in mind is that if you aren't learning anything new your mind is probably turning to mush. And we can't let that happen, can we?
Recently I was listening to an old Tony Robbins MP3 file, something I forgot I even downloaded probably. He was talking about "creating references" in order to achieve more, something that got me thinking how much that is really true. In order to make something come true, we really have to envision it first in our minds, right? After that, we need to really believe that we can accomplish whatever it is we want to do, and imagine ourselves doing this task with complete confidence and certainty.
Creating references to our success is really about setting the stage for the picture of how our new reality will look. In order to create your future, you need to know how it's going to look, right? So why not make as many details to that picture as you can now? It's like putting together a puzzle, the more pieces of the puzzle you have in place the more that the puzzle looks like the box it came in. After awhile you really recognize things, and that makes it much easier to finish the puzzle, right? Same thing with your picture of reality - the more pieces of the "puzzle" you are trying to create, the more you will recognize your future and this will give you immense confidence that your future is really taking shape. As you get closer to the finish it just keeps getting easier and easier!
Let's put this into real life form so it's easier to understand. I knew this friend of mine who wanted to be a veterinarian, and she spoke about it night and day. How much she really wanted to work with animals, because she loved them and knew it was her "dream" job. So of course she finally made the leap and went to veterinarian school, which is really tough to get into. It took awhile, but she was very persistent and finally got in. This was the first step in her plan, because although she was around animals all her life she didn't have any formal training yet. She knew what she wanted, but wasn't totally convinced yet that she could really accomplish it. Once she finished vet school, she knew that it would take her closer to her goal of being a vet. She had to create strong references though in order to get through all of this training, because doing something this difficult was going to take a very long time to accomplish. Once she got through vet school, she had built up a huge reference that gave her more confidence in her ability to realize that dream, but she knew she still had a long way to go before the dream became her reality. After that, she had to go through an internship, and then pass a board examination to become licenses in her state. Yes, she knew what the eventual goal was and how to get it, but each step along the way was like another huge piece in the puzzle of her dream. She kept adding piece after piece, and finally it was really becoming clear that she was going to be a board certified vet, and have her own practice! When she first started, she wasn't convinced that it would happen. But as she got closer and closer, the picture was very clear.
This is just one example of how references build our confidence and create our reality, by reinforcing the picture each step of the way. Yes, it takes time to create a new reality for yourself. But that's what dreams are for, aren't they? Check out my new retirement blog here: motivation in retirement Thanks!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Your Comfort Zone - aka The Dream Killer
Hey there,
You know, we all want to be happy. If at all possible, ecstatic! Am I right? Of course, you can only stay in that state for so long though. After awhile, even the greatest vacations end. Then, you are back to reality my friend. That brings me to another point - the "comfort zone". Are you pretty comfortable right now in your life? Well, maybe you shouldn't be. Let me explain why.
Are you doing things on a daily basis that cause you discomfort? I’m not talking about real pain, just things that make you try harder, break through fear barriers, and in general cause you mental distress. If not, then you aren’t growing as a person – and probably never will! Ouch, what a slap shot, sorry about that. But it’s true!
The fact is that most people want to be successful in life, but never stop to think what it will really take to get there in their chosen field. If it means going back to college for 2 years of night school, could you do it? If it means to start your business you would need to work 16 hour days for a year or two (or more), could you do it? How about if it meant reading a book a week for about 6 months in order to really master a new skill? If you aren’t prepared to do any of those things because they are outside of your comfort zone, then you can forget being successful. I guarantee you will never reach your goals in life. Unless your goal is to be ordinary.
Yes the biggest dream killer by far is the dreaded “comfort zone” which most people live in their entire lives. And the funny thing is that people just can’t wrap their heads around the fact that people who have reached some success get tons of time to just relax, but only because they’re earned it! If you haven’t built a successful business, or in some way built a career that allows you mucho free time, then you are stuck in the grinding world of nine-to-five like everyone else. So how comfortable is that? Not very, if you ask me.
So what can you do about it? Well, find a way to make something happen in your life, build a business around your favorite hobby. Or write a book and publish it. Or take a course in stock trading and become an expert at that, working on making enough money to retire. But rest assured, if you don’t take massive action that puts you way out of your comfort zone, you will never be successful at much of anything. I promise – and I don’t make many promises! Visit us at our new retirement blog: earn extra income in retirement
You know, we all want to be happy. If at all possible, ecstatic! Am I right? Of course, you can only stay in that state for so long though. After awhile, even the greatest vacations end. Then, you are back to reality my friend. That brings me to another point - the "comfort zone". Are you pretty comfortable right now in your life? Well, maybe you shouldn't be. Let me explain why.
Are you doing things on a daily basis that cause you discomfort? I’m not talking about real pain, just things that make you try harder, break through fear barriers, and in general cause you mental distress. If not, then you aren’t growing as a person – and probably never will! Ouch, what a slap shot, sorry about that. But it’s true!
The fact is that most people want to be successful in life, but never stop to think what it will really take to get there in their chosen field. If it means going back to college for 2 years of night school, could you do it? If it means to start your business you would need to work 16 hour days for a year or two (or more), could you do it? How about if it meant reading a book a week for about 6 months in order to really master a new skill? If you aren’t prepared to do any of those things because they are outside of your comfort zone, then you can forget being successful. I guarantee you will never reach your goals in life. Unless your goal is to be ordinary.
Yes the biggest dream killer by far is the dreaded “comfort zone” which most people live in their entire lives. And the funny thing is that people just can’t wrap their heads around the fact that people who have reached some success get tons of time to just relax, but only because they’re earned it! If you haven’t built a successful business, or in some way built a career that allows you mucho free time, then you are stuck in the grinding world of nine-to-five like everyone else. So how comfortable is that? Not very, if you ask me.
So what can you do about it? Well, find a way to make something happen in your life, build a business around your favorite hobby. Or write a book and publish it. Or take a course in stock trading and become an expert at that, working on making enough money to retire. But rest assured, if you don’t take massive action that puts you way out of your comfort zone, you will never be successful at much of anything. I promise – and I don’t make many promises! Visit us at our new retirement blog: earn extra income in retirement
Friday, June 26, 2009
Find Happiness by focusing on the wins
Hello again,
This is going to sound a little silly, but what do you like better – winning or losing? Ok, we all like winning. Kind of a no-brainer, right? So why do so many people focus instead on their losses in life instead of the wins?
Gotcha thinking now, huh. You are probably saying “but I never focus on losses!”, right? It would seem that way, but if you consider our underlying thought process, any time we set out to try something new, or perform a difficult task, in the back of our minds we have this little voice saying “don’t mess this up again, like last time”, or “please don’t embarrass yourself again” or something to that effect. It’s like we’re priming ourselves to fail, almost. For me, it happens when I have an important project to complete at work, and I’m under pressure. I know what I’m doing, but at the same time I know if I make one little mistake, or leave something important out, I will be chastised by the boss. Or worse yet, something will effect the company bottom line and I will really hear about it! But if I know what I’m doing, why does that sliver of doubt have so much weight?
Another way we sometimes focus more on negatives instead of the positives in life, is just about anytime we try to make an improvement in our lives. Whether it’s interviewing for a new job, applying for a loan for a home or new car, or working on a new relationship that we have want so badly to work out. Our belief system kicks in, and before you know it there’s that little voice again saying “I don’t deserve this, really”. Maybe you have learned to ignore that little subconscious voice, but you know it’s still there, right? And the thing is, that voice seems to be louder when we’re about to do something really important to us. I think there is a direct
correlation to the negative voice and the importance of what we are doing!
Ok, here’s an example…I was planning my daughters birthday party recently, and wanted to have it in a local park. Great place for party’s because you don’t have to clean up! Anyway, I suddenly got this scary thought…what if it rains?! Oh, no! What then? It will be ruined! Just it was…never before. That’s right, we had her party there last year, and it was perfect weather. So what was I worried about? That little voice kicked in big time! Why do I listen.
From now on, when I hear that little voice, I’m going to train myself to immediately think of the opposite. That’s right, if a negative pops into my head, I will immediately think of the exact opposite and how that situation is much more likely to happen! So instead of getting rain for the party it will be totally gorgeous. Instead of making a mistake or being late for that project at work, I’m going to nail it and get a huge raise. Instead of being tired when I go to the gym tomorrow, I’m going to say “wow, I’m so energetic today, where’s it coming from?”. And it will all be true, because I planted another little voice, one that’s positive all the time. Make it a habit, and I will be totally set!
It may sound ridiculously simple to say you’re going to do that, but it really can be done. If you have a habit of thinking of the worst that may happen, just focus on the positive things that happen in your life. Pretty soon you will notice more and more positive things happening, and realize that your focus is changing your reality. Focus on the “wins” in your life, and you will most certainly have more of them. I promise…
To your continued success and happiness!
Visit us at find happiness here
3taky5dxme
This is going to sound a little silly, but what do you like better – winning or losing? Ok, we all like winning. Kind of a no-brainer, right? So why do so many people focus instead on their losses in life instead of the wins?
Gotcha thinking now, huh. You are probably saying “but I never focus on losses!”, right? It would seem that way, but if you consider our underlying thought process, any time we set out to try something new, or perform a difficult task, in the back of our minds we have this little voice saying “don’t mess this up again, like last time”, or “please don’t embarrass yourself again” or something to that effect. It’s like we’re priming ourselves to fail, almost. For me, it happens when I have an important project to complete at work, and I’m under pressure. I know what I’m doing, but at the same time I know if I make one little mistake, or leave something important out, I will be chastised by the boss. Or worse yet, something will effect the company bottom line and I will really hear about it! But if I know what I’m doing, why does that sliver of doubt have so much weight?
Another way we sometimes focus more on negatives instead of the positives in life, is just about anytime we try to make an improvement in our lives. Whether it’s interviewing for a new job, applying for a loan for a home or new car, or working on a new relationship that we have want so badly to work out. Our belief system kicks in, and before you know it there’s that little voice again saying “I don’t deserve this, really”. Maybe you have learned to ignore that little subconscious voice, but you know it’s still there, right? And the thing is, that voice seems to be louder when we’re about to do something really important to us. I think there is a direct
correlation to the negative voice and the importance of what we are doing!
Ok, here’s an example…I was planning my daughters birthday party recently, and wanted to have it in a local park. Great place for party’s because you don’t have to clean up! Anyway, I suddenly got this scary thought…what if it rains?! Oh, no! What then? It will be ruined! Just it was…never before. That’s right, we had her party there last year, and it was perfect weather. So what was I worried about? That little voice kicked in big time! Why do I listen.
From now on, when I hear that little voice, I’m going to train myself to immediately think of the opposite. That’s right, if a negative pops into my head, I will immediately think of the exact opposite and how that situation is much more likely to happen! So instead of getting rain for the party it will be totally gorgeous. Instead of making a mistake or being late for that project at work, I’m going to nail it and get a huge raise. Instead of being tired when I go to the gym tomorrow, I’m going to say “wow, I’m so energetic today, where’s it coming from?”. And it will all be true, because I planted another little voice, one that’s positive all the time. Make it a habit, and I will be totally set!
It may sound ridiculously simple to say you’re going to do that, but it really can be done. If you have a habit of thinking of the worst that may happen, just focus on the positive things that happen in your life. Pretty soon you will notice more and more positive things happening, and realize that your focus is changing your reality. Focus on the “wins” in your life, and you will most certainly have more of them. I promise…
To your continued success and happiness!
Visit us at find happiness here
3taky5dxme
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
More success tricks I've learned recently
Hello again,
You know sometimes I surprise even myself. I've read probably close to one-hundred self improvement books, worked on being more focused and productive, and just as I'm starting to think maybe I have it down things go into overdrive. Let me explain...
My last post I was blathering on about being unfocused, right? Ok, so I really took the time to find a few new ways to solve that little problem, because 1) my job is really changing, and it's harder and harder to "fake" working anymore...lol 2) I can really see myself working from the house very soon, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me...Alas, my bank account says "NO", so I keep working anyway. Then I get this brilliant idea to make a checklist, and so I start making a list of things I need to do with my business on a daily basis. Starting out slowly, it's now up to about 18 things! I need to do these every day, too. So I give it a shot, right?
Wow, that was just what I needed! It was as if my life was automatically brought into focus for me, no longer sitting in my chair at the computer wondering what to do next...I have a list, so I just go down the list, in order, and do each little thing one by one. Pretty soon I'm almost done, and I've accomplished more in 2 hours than I've done for quite some time. It actually works! Yeah, I know. That was supposed to be the plan, duh. But really, it's like a fog has been lifted, and I see myself getting much more done. This after trying to put short-term goals in writing, which only "half" worked because when I didn't quite reach my goals I would be somewhat disappointed. With the list, it's like a daily reminder for me to do each thing, one by one, until completed. I take notes on certain things that for whatever reason can't be done, then make sure they are done the next day.
I truly recommend this method to anyone, start a list of tasks, with the date, name of the task, notes for specific tasks (such as writing stats, numbers, additions), and any other column if you want. Do it every day! This has to be the rule, if you start missing a few days you won't make it a habit, and it won't be of help. I'm not usually the anal retentive type, but this has got my attention. Let me know if anybody out there has used this technique before, ok? I would love to hear other success stories!
Visit us at the happiness place
You know sometimes I surprise even myself. I've read probably close to one-hundred self improvement books, worked on being more focused and productive, and just as I'm starting to think maybe I have it down things go into overdrive. Let me explain...
My last post I was blathering on about being unfocused, right? Ok, so I really took the time to find a few new ways to solve that little problem, because 1) my job is really changing, and it's harder and harder to "fake" working anymore...lol 2) I can really see myself working from the house very soon, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me...Alas, my bank account says "NO", so I keep working anyway. Then I get this brilliant idea to make a checklist, and so I start making a list of things I need to do with my business on a daily basis. Starting out slowly, it's now up to about 18 things! I need to do these every day, too. So I give it a shot, right?
Wow, that was just what I needed! It was as if my life was automatically brought into focus for me, no longer sitting in my chair at the computer wondering what to do next...I have a list, so I just go down the list, in order, and do each little thing one by one. Pretty soon I'm almost done, and I've accomplished more in 2 hours than I've done for quite some time. It actually works! Yeah, I know. That was supposed to be the plan, duh. But really, it's like a fog has been lifted, and I see myself getting much more done. This after trying to put short-term goals in writing, which only "half" worked because when I didn't quite reach my goals I would be somewhat disappointed. With the list, it's like a daily reminder for me to do each thing, one by one, until completed. I take notes on certain things that for whatever reason can't be done, then make sure they are done the next day.
I truly recommend this method to anyone, start a list of tasks, with the date, name of the task, notes for specific tasks (such as writing stats, numbers, additions), and any other column if you want. Do it every day! This has to be the rule, if you start missing a few days you won't make it a habit, and it won't be of help. I'm not usually the anal retentive type, but this has got my attention. Let me know if anybody out there has used this technique before, ok? I would love to hear other success stories!
Visit us at the happiness place
Friday, February 27, 2009
You must take risks, to get more rewards!
Good day,
As you may know by now I write an awful lot about motivation and success, and striving for goals. However, there are many different things that stop us from reaching our goals - some people plead ignorance (I don't know where to start!), some just plain procrastinate, and others are paralyzed by fear of the unknown. The unknown being "what would happen if I take a chance and try to go back to college and fail" or something of that nature. This brings me to the subject of risk-taking. Life can be risky, or life can be dull. You just can't have it both ways though. It's either one way or the other for the most part. The thing is that without risk we never challenge ourselves, we never try new things, we never get ahead.
I know a bit about fear, believe me. I was afraid for many years to try certain things; the risk of failure was just too great. But if you think about it we don't grow as human beings without risking something in life. We don't get new jobs without some risk, we don't get a new lover without some risk, and we just don't get much of anything good in life without some risk! So what is it that holds us back, besides fear? Besides the fear of losing, the fear of being wrong, the fear of offending someone else, the fear of other people knowing something about us that makes us vulnerable, is there possibly a larger fear? How about fear of knowing that if we don't do the things in life that really matter to us, we will die knowing we could have done more? That is one of my fears, too. If you project yourself 40, 50, 60 years into the future (depending on your current age) and see yourself in the future, what do you want others to think of you? What accomplishments do you want to be able to brag about to your grand kids? What can you think of that if not master or accomplished, will leave you feeling shorted in life?
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we have to strike a balance between the things we're most afraid of doing, and the things we will eventually regret if we don't do them. After all, by the time we're adults we realize that taking risks rarely results in death or dismemberment. This does not apply to the crew of Jackass, of course. For most people, taking risks involves the possibility of being embarrassed, or losing money, or breaking up a relationship, something that stings but rarely is fatal. I like to say, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" If you balance that with the best thing that could happen, the best possible outcome of your risk-taking, it's almost always worth it. Or is it? You decide for yourself, but let's look at some comparisons that I totally made up just now:
Risk #1 - Certain baseball players are notorious for their ability to get hits consistently, most notably Reggie Jackson. How often do we associate great sluggers with being risk-takers though? They are, if they want to be known as homerun kings, because it's a fact that most homerun kings also have the most strikeouts. Why? The only way to hit a homer is to fully commit to swinging as hard as you can at the pitch. Most players are too tentative, and are lucky to get a single or double. Jackson struck out 2,597 times while getting 563 home runs. Not a bad average, eh?
Risk #2 - The founding fathers of our country! Yes, our founding fathers were risking everything to break away from Great Britain. They all knew that when they gathered to write the Declaration of Independence back in 1776, if they were caught they would all most likely hang. But the risk was obviously worth it, since founding this new country was they only way to break free from the tyranny of England and arise a free nation. Great risk, great reward! I'm so glad they did, too.
Risk #3 - How about Donald Trump? Love him or hate him, he lost nearly everything back in the late 1980's but came back to score bigger than ever. How did he do it? He risked it all by telling the banks they better renegotiate his loans with them, or they would lose it all. (And that worked?) He knows that only risk-takers make it big, although sometimes they lose big too. What is the difference? Guys like Trump don't mind risking it again, starting over if necessary, trying something new, despite the odds.
Ok, those are just a few of the risky people I can mention here. I'm sure if you think about it you can name more, but what about you? Are you willing to take a risk, to start that business, or go back to college, or train for a marathon, or finally meet that women at the library you can't help thinking about (yes, I saw you checking her out)? We have to if we want to stretch ourselves, to move beyond our ordinary lives. Another way to look at it is why not go for the reward, rather than think about the risk? If you can focus on what you stand to gain the chances you will finally just "go for it" are much greater. So go ahead, get out there and take some chances, the odds are with you! Besides, I know you can do it...
Visit us at our new blog: motivation in retirement
As you may know by now I write an awful lot about motivation and success, and striving for goals. However, there are many different things that stop us from reaching our goals - some people plead ignorance (I don't know where to start!), some just plain procrastinate, and others are paralyzed by fear of the unknown. The unknown being "what would happen if I take a chance and try to go back to college and fail" or something of that nature. This brings me to the subject of risk-taking. Life can be risky, or life can be dull. You just can't have it both ways though. It's either one way or the other for the most part. The thing is that without risk we never challenge ourselves, we never try new things, we never get ahead.
I know a bit about fear, believe me. I was afraid for many years to try certain things; the risk of failure was just too great. But if you think about it we don't grow as human beings without risking something in life. We don't get new jobs without some risk, we don't get a new lover without some risk, and we just don't get much of anything good in life without some risk! So what is it that holds us back, besides fear? Besides the fear of losing, the fear of being wrong, the fear of offending someone else, the fear of other people knowing something about us that makes us vulnerable, is there possibly a larger fear? How about fear of knowing that if we don't do the things in life that really matter to us, we will die knowing we could have done more? That is one of my fears, too. If you project yourself 40, 50, 60 years into the future (depending on your current age) and see yourself in the future, what do you want others to think of you? What accomplishments do you want to be able to brag about to your grand kids? What can you think of that if not master or accomplished, will leave you feeling shorted in life?
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we have to strike a balance between the things we're most afraid of doing, and the things we will eventually regret if we don't do them. After all, by the time we're adults we realize that taking risks rarely results in death or dismemberment. This does not apply to the crew of Jackass, of course. For most people, taking risks involves the possibility of being embarrassed, or losing money, or breaking up a relationship, something that stings but rarely is fatal. I like to say, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" If you balance that with the best thing that could happen, the best possible outcome of your risk-taking, it's almost always worth it. Or is it? You decide for yourself, but let's look at some comparisons that I totally made up just now:
Risk #1 - Certain baseball players are notorious for their ability to get hits consistently, most notably Reggie Jackson. How often do we associate great sluggers with being risk-takers though? They are, if they want to be known as homerun kings, because it's a fact that most homerun kings also have the most strikeouts. Why? The only way to hit a homer is to fully commit to swinging as hard as you can at the pitch. Most players are too tentative, and are lucky to get a single or double. Jackson struck out 2,597 times while getting 563 home runs. Not a bad average, eh?
Risk #2 - The founding fathers of our country! Yes, our founding fathers were risking everything to break away from Great Britain. They all knew that when they gathered to write the Declaration of Independence back in 1776, if they were caught they would all most likely hang. But the risk was obviously worth it, since founding this new country was they only way to break free from the tyranny of England and arise a free nation. Great risk, great reward! I'm so glad they did, too.
Risk #3 - How about Donald Trump? Love him or hate him, he lost nearly everything back in the late 1980's but came back to score bigger than ever. How did he do it? He risked it all by telling the banks they better renegotiate his loans with them, or they would lose it all. (And that worked?) He knows that only risk-takers make it big, although sometimes they lose big too. What is the difference? Guys like Trump don't mind risking it again, starting over if necessary, trying something new, despite the odds.
Ok, those are just a few of the risky people I can mention here. I'm sure if you think about it you can name more, but what about you? Are you willing to take a risk, to start that business, or go back to college, or train for a marathon, or finally meet that women at the library you can't help thinking about (yes, I saw you checking her out)? We have to if we want to stretch ourselves, to move beyond our ordinary lives. Another way to look at it is why not go for the reward, rather than think about the risk? If you can focus on what you stand to gain the chances you will finally just "go for it" are much greater. So go ahead, get out there and take some chances, the odds are with you! Besides, I know you can do it...
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Wednesday, February 4, 2009
What's your happiness set point?
Hello and good day,
Are you one those people that are almost always happy, no matter what is happening in your life? Well me neither, but I’ve known a few people like that in my life and it never ceases to amaze me at their natural ability to maintain a smile every day. A friend of mine is like that, and I have to shake my head in amazement when something goes wrong and he just makes a joke as if it was nothing. That is definitely a great attitude!
Is that a natural inborn thing? I think in some people it is, and really if you think about it we all have a “happiness set point” when we’re born, just a genetic predisposition like any other. Some folks have brown hair, others blonde. Some are left-handed and others are weird. Yes, I’m left-handed. Why do you ask? Anyway, it has to be like any other trait we are born with. Studies have been done on twins and results have shown that we’re born with a “predisposition to feel and express emotions within a certain range”, which varies within a certain range. However, the larger part of our happiness set point is thought to be within our power since actions we take and thoughts we control are obviously a huge part of that influence on happiness. A psychologist by the name of Martin Seligman (
So if you are not one of the few lucky ones that is born in a great mood all the time, what to do? Luckily there are many ways to boost our happiness, and according to researchers Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kennon Sheldon, and David Schkade there is even a happiness equation to illustrate this important relationship:
S + C + V = H (set point + circumstances + voluntary behavior = happiness). What that means is that you are born with a certain happiness set point but you don’t have to be satisfied with your life the way you are born. You can change your circumstances by making changes to your behavior. The question is, what changes should you make? In other words, what makes you happy? That is a question you will have to answer yourself, because everyone is different. Nevertheless, I really believe that is the hardest part for many people!
I know it’s insane, but many people seem to drift through life with no real “long-term” vision, which means they know what makes them happy for the moment, but not what will really fulfill their needs on a long-term basis. That, in my opinion, is the real definition of happiness. Once you figure out the really important things, you can then start making solid plans for obtaining those goals. Do I really love my job? How about my career path? How about my relationship, do I see myself staying where I’m at for the next five years, ten years, even twenty years? Am I spiritually where I want to be? If not, how can I get there? (I know I’m getting off track with the happiness set point topic, but don’t worry I will tie this all together soon). These are questions of course that people have asked since the days of Aristotle. In fact he actually said “all human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.” Well I guess that narrows it down pretty well, thanks Ari. But how much control do we really have, and how much is inborn and thus difficult to change?
The good news is that most modern psychologists say between 50% and 80% of our happiness is really under our control! (In other words, don’t try to blame your parents if you are a grump). And of course we can’t be happy all the time either, in fact it’s probably not even a realistic goal to set. But if you work on a well-defined list of characteristics that most happy people seem to present, your chances are certainly much improved. I have read that the happiest among us have these traits in common:
- enjoy what they do for a living
- have close relationships with family & friends
- have a certain amount of faith (spiritual element)
- describe themselves as optimists
- have at least a modicum of good health
- and last, but not least, have enough material things that they don’t worry about food or shelter for themselves or their family
I hope this helps some people put in perspective what happiness means to them, and how much we really can do to change how we feel about it. Don’t wait, make your list today and get started for your happiness.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Power of habits make your success faster
Good Day,
I was thinking about how our habits seem to shape our lives, whether it's the habit of getting up on time (or late) every day, the habit of being healthy and eating right, or habits like getting really ticked off when someone cuts you off in traffic. Do you have bad habits? I guess we all do, right? Maybe that's a hard thing to admit, but take a few minutes to think about it...I'll wait.
Did you write down 1 or 2, or a whole list of bad habits? What is the cost of those bad habits, I wonder. We all try our best to avoid bad habits, at least that's what we tell ourselves. And every year on January 1st we make our resolutions that maybe this year we can eliminate another bad habit or two. What do you think would happen if we suddenly decided to make a list of "good" habits that we wanted to start or maintain, instead of focusing on those bad habits and how to quit them? Wow, what a concept. Focusing on what we want, instead of what we don't want? I know, you don't do that. But you would be amazed at how often people do, without realizing it, they are focusing so much on what they don't want that they seem to get more of the same. That is, of course, the Law of Attraction, which basically states that you get what you think about most. So if you're trying to lose weight, don't think about how fat you are, think and focus on becoming more fit every day.
I'm getting off track here though. What I really wanted to discuss is the many good habits we could all be focusing on, not just losing weight. My list looks something like this:
1. Be unrelentingly positive at all times
2. Be focused on the bright future you have
3. Develop the habit of good moral values
4. Make discipline your daily habit
5. Make it a habit to help others, every day
6. Have gratitude for the wonderful life you have
This list is for me, I'm not saying it fits with anybody else plans for the near future. But if you really want to be a better person, reach your goals, and make the most positive and successful life you can imagine, filled with happiness not only for yourself but others around you, make a list too. Think about what you need to do in order to fulfill your life with the best you can possibly have, whatever that may be. Make your habits live up to the kind of person you know you need to be, but don't think of the "bad" ones you already have. Think of the good habits you wish to develop, the bad ones will take care of themselves soon enough when you realize you are too good to keep them. Soon, your personal power and your self-esteem will be so high that any bad habits you have will disgust you and they will be stopped. Just make sure you take action on this, as everyone the time we have is limited! So make haste and get busy....
Visit us at my new retirement blog here: motivation in retirement big debt crisis
I was thinking about how our habits seem to shape our lives, whether it's the habit of getting up on time (or late) every day, the habit of being healthy and eating right, or habits like getting really ticked off when someone cuts you off in traffic. Do you have bad habits? I guess we all do, right? Maybe that's a hard thing to admit, but take a few minutes to think about it...I'll wait.
Did you write down 1 or 2, or a whole list of bad habits? What is the cost of those bad habits, I wonder. We all try our best to avoid bad habits, at least that's what we tell ourselves. And every year on January 1st we make our resolutions that maybe this year we can eliminate another bad habit or two. What do you think would happen if we suddenly decided to make a list of "good" habits that we wanted to start or maintain, instead of focusing on those bad habits and how to quit them? Wow, what a concept. Focusing on what we want, instead of what we don't want? I know, you don't do that. But you would be amazed at how often people do, without realizing it, they are focusing so much on what they don't want that they seem to get more of the same. That is, of course, the Law of Attraction, which basically states that you get what you think about most. So if you're trying to lose weight, don't think about how fat you are, think and focus on becoming more fit every day.
I'm getting off track here though. What I really wanted to discuss is the many good habits we could all be focusing on, not just losing weight. My list looks something like this:
1. Be unrelentingly positive at all times
2. Be focused on the bright future you have
3. Develop the habit of good moral values
4. Make discipline your daily habit
5. Make it a habit to help others, every day
6. Have gratitude for the wonderful life you have
This list is for me, I'm not saying it fits with anybody else plans for the near future. But if you really want to be a better person, reach your goals, and make the most positive and successful life you can imagine, filled with happiness not only for yourself but others around you, make a list too. Think about what you need to do in order to fulfill your life with the best you can possibly have, whatever that may be. Make your habits live up to the kind of person you know you need to be, but don't think of the "bad" ones you already have. Think of the good habits you wish to develop, the bad ones will take care of themselves soon enough when you realize you are too good to keep them. Soon, your personal power and your self-esteem will be so high that any bad habits you have will disgust you and they will be stopped. Just make sure you take action on this, as everyone the time we have is limited! So make haste and get busy....
Visit us at my new retirement blog here: motivation in retirement big debt crisis
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