Hello again,
This is going to sound a little silly, but what do you like better – winning or losing? Ok, we all like winning. Kind of a no-brainer, right? So why do so many people focus instead on their losses in life instead of the wins?
Gotcha thinking now, huh. You are probably saying “but I never focus on losses!”, right? It would seem that way, but if you consider our underlying thought process, any time we set out to try something new, or perform a difficult task, in the back of our minds we have this little voice saying “don’t mess this up again, like last time”, or “please don’t embarrass yourself again” or something to that effect. It’s like we’re priming ourselves to fail, almost. For me, it happens when I have an important project to complete at work, and I’m under pressure. I know what I’m doing, but at the same time I know if I make one little mistake, or leave something important out, I will be chastised by the boss. Or worse yet, something will effect the company bottom line and I will really hear about it! But if I know what I’m doing, why does that sliver of doubt have so much weight?
Another way we sometimes focus more on negatives instead of the positives in life, is just about anytime we try to make an improvement in our lives. Whether it’s interviewing for a new job, applying for a loan for a home or new car, or working on a new relationship that we have want so badly to work out. Our belief system kicks in, and before you know it there’s that little voice again saying “I don’t deserve this, really”. Maybe you have learned to ignore that little subconscious voice, but you know it’s still there, right? And the thing is, that voice seems to be louder when we’re about to do something really important to us. I think there is a direct
correlation to the negative voice and the importance of what we are doing!
Ok, here’s an example…I was planning my daughters birthday party recently, and wanted to have it in a local park. Great place for party’s because you don’t have to clean up! Anyway, I suddenly got this scary thought…what if it rains?! Oh, no! What then? It will be ruined! Just it was…never before. That’s right, we had her party there last year, and it was perfect weather. So what was I worried about? That little voice kicked in big time! Why do I listen.
From now on, when I hear that little voice, I’m going to train myself to immediately think of the opposite. That’s right, if a negative pops into my head, I will immediately think of the exact opposite and how that situation is much more likely to happen! So instead of getting rain for the party it will be totally gorgeous. Instead of making a mistake or being late for that project at work, I’m going to nail it and get a huge raise. Instead of being tired when I go to the gym tomorrow, I’m going to say “wow, I’m so energetic today, where’s it coming from?”. And it will all be true, because I planted another little voice, one that’s positive all the time. Make it a habit, and I will be totally set!
It may sound ridiculously simple to say you’re going to do that, but it really can be done. If you have a habit of thinking of the worst that may happen, just focus on the positive things that happen in your life. Pretty soon you will notice more and more positive things happening, and realize that your focus is changing your reality. Focus on the “wins” in your life, and you will most certainly have more of them. I promise…
To your continued success and happiness!
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