Good day,
There is an old expression that many of you probably learned as children that goes “I will believe it when I see it!” This is the common belief that we should only believe the things we see with our eyes, and not be so gullible as to believe things blindly until proven otherwise. Where did this saying come from, and does it still hold true?
I too used to think that in order to be sure you weren’t being “played”, you should always depend on things that are proven. In most cases this means “don’t believe in hearsay, don’t take anybody else’s word for it”. We’re told to get the facts and make sure what your getting is real. But what about the things you want to change in your life, things that if you could make them happen would literally change your world for the better? These are things that you must believe in first before you can see them. I’m not sure if you have ever heard that expression before, I only heard it within the past year or so from a spiritual guru/motivational speaker named Wayne Dyer. It’s one of those messages that when you first hear something inside of you immediately clicks, and a little light goes on. At least that was my experience, I thought “wow, that really makes sense!”. It makes sense to me in a way that at the time I was trying to make some major changes in my life, and having a difficult time of it.
So what is the point of it? If you don’t truly believe in the changes you wish to see in your life, the changes that must come from deep within you, then you will not ever seem them. If you don’t believe you can be a better person, it will never be manifested. This seems so obvious, once you think it through. But we are so programmed to only believe what we first see that at it almost seems like putting the cart before the horse! What if you told a person they could cure their cancer if they believed it strongly enough? In many cases this is exactly the circumstance, however only a person who truly believes that their mind can effect changes in their body will see the results. Is this like a “chicken and egg” theory? What comes first, your belief or your results? Any time you wish to make changes using the power of your mind, the belief system is the main system of power for these changes. And the only way for that to work is to believe, to trust that you can cause things to change and then you will see the results of your efforts. This is a hard concept for some to follow, unfortunately.
So what events or ideas have caused me to change my mind about the whole “see it when you believe it” theory? Many, many people that have told their personal stories about success. People that started from nothing, or were even more disadvantaged than most people, and still found a way to fulfill theirs dreams. People like Ed Roberts, who even with polio as a child (which caused him to be a quadriplegic) overcame severe disabilities to become head of the California Department of Vocation and Rehabilitation — the first person with disabilities to hold that post. Or the story of Nick Vujicic who was born without arms or legs, and leads a normal life and even gives motivational speeches! Check his story out if you get a chance, he’s a true inspiration. I could literally recite the stories of dozens more people that created a wonderful existence for themselves only from their belief that they could. But I’m sure you know where I’m going with this already, right? Take a moment to envision the life you want, belief with all your being that it will happen, and then take that belief to the next level and see it happen.
Visit us at the happiness place for more inspiration
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Boost your self esteem and find happiness
Good day,
Something has been bothering me lately, something I saw on a news story just the other day. There was this story about how popular a certain type of plastic surgery was, and it sounded as if quite a few people are getting this procedure done nowadays. Yes, very popular. We must really value our looks, I guess.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not so sure I would like to have someone cutting into my face, even if the end result would be an improvement! And the thing is? It’s not just women getting plastic surgery these days, men are as well. I’m not trying to be judgmental, mind you. I just think it’s way too common for so many people to be unhappy with their looks, and go to the extreme measure of getting surgery to fix it. Ok, that’s a little judgmental. But is there something that may be more important than having great looks? What about our internal being, our personality, how we appear to others through our actions. Isn’t that more important than our outward appearance? Maybe you agree, maybe not.
With all the money being spent on plastic surgery, and I’m sure it’s in the billions in this country, wouldn’t it be easier to try and fix our self-esteem and confidence than our faces? I certainly think so. Look, I’m not against getting surgery to fix something that’s actually broken, but just to get the “perfect” nose, or better cheek bones, or something I totally don’t understand, botox? What is that all about? Putting a poison into your skin so you don’t have that worried look all the time, wow. That would make me worry more, putting that stuff in my face! I would worry about what my self-esteem has come to, to need that kind of a fix…
So how do we deal with this problem, lack of self-esteem. Because we all know that the vast majority of people getting plastic surgery must have at least some lack thereof, what’s the answer? Self Esteem is how you feel about yourself. Image is about how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. They are closely connected because if you have a poor opinion of yourself your self esteem will be low. There are many ways to boost self-esteem, and here are a few:
1. Take an inventory of your good qualities. You may be surprised how many great things about you that go unnoticed. If you need help, just ask a friend, or better yet your mother! They know all the good things about you. Don’t hesitate to feel good about yourself!
2. Do something nice for someone. Believe it or not, doing a good deed for someone else makes you feel much better about yourself! (it’s a proven fact, jack)
3. Stay away from negative or pushy people. If you have friends or even people at work that are always negative, or seem to say things to you that make you feel badly, stay away from them! You don’t have to put up with these kinds of people, they aren’t good for you. Stay positive in your attitude, you will feel better about yourself.
4. Take time to work on things that need improvement. We all have things that we need to work on, whether it’s shyness, or difficulty in speaking up for ourselves, just know that working on these problems can make great improvements happen. Read a book specifically about your situation, then make a conscious effort to improve. You will see results!
5. Above all, believe in yourself. You are the one person that has control over what happens to you, so take control and be the person you know you can be.
Remember that building self-esteem and confidence in yourself don’t happen overnight, but it can happen if you really make the effort. After all, most people really don’t notice that your face isn’t perfect anyway. Who among us has a perfect face? Let’s work on the inside first, I promise that the last thing you will need is surgery to fix anything if you take care of your self esteem!
To your continued success and happiness!
Visit us at the happiness place
Something has been bothering me lately, something I saw on a news story just the other day. There was this story about how popular a certain type of plastic surgery was, and it sounded as if quite a few people are getting this procedure done nowadays. Yes, very popular. We must really value our looks, I guess.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not so sure I would like to have someone cutting into my face, even if the end result would be an improvement! And the thing is? It’s not just women getting plastic surgery these days, men are as well. I’m not trying to be judgmental, mind you. I just think it’s way too common for so many people to be unhappy with their looks, and go to the extreme measure of getting surgery to fix it. Ok, that’s a little judgmental. But is there something that may be more important than having great looks? What about our internal being, our personality, how we appear to others through our actions. Isn’t that more important than our outward appearance? Maybe you agree, maybe not.
With all the money being spent on plastic surgery, and I’m sure it’s in the billions in this country, wouldn’t it be easier to try and fix our self-esteem and confidence than our faces? I certainly think so. Look, I’m not against getting surgery to fix something that’s actually broken, but just to get the “perfect” nose, or better cheek bones, or something I totally don’t understand, botox? What is that all about? Putting a poison into your skin so you don’t have that worried look all the time, wow. That would make me worry more, putting that stuff in my face! I would worry about what my self-esteem has come to, to need that kind of a fix…
So how do we deal with this problem, lack of self-esteem. Because we all know that the vast majority of people getting plastic surgery must have at least some lack thereof, what’s the answer? Self Esteem is how you feel about yourself. Image is about how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. They are closely connected because if you have a poor opinion of yourself your self esteem will be low. There are many ways to boost self-esteem, and here are a few:
1. Take an inventory of your good qualities. You may be surprised how many great things about you that go unnoticed. If you need help, just ask a friend, or better yet your mother! They know all the good things about you. Don’t hesitate to feel good about yourself!
2. Do something nice for someone. Believe it or not, doing a good deed for someone else makes you feel much better about yourself! (it’s a proven fact, jack)
3. Stay away from negative or pushy people. If you have friends or even people at work that are always negative, or seem to say things to you that make you feel badly, stay away from them! You don’t have to put up with these kinds of people, they aren’t good for you. Stay positive in your attitude, you will feel better about yourself.
4. Take time to work on things that need improvement. We all have things that we need to work on, whether it’s shyness, or difficulty in speaking up for ourselves, just know that working on these problems can make great improvements happen. Read a book specifically about your situation, then make a conscious effort to improve. You will see results!
5. Above all, believe in yourself. You are the one person that has control over what happens to you, so take control and be the person you know you can be.
Remember that building self-esteem and confidence in yourself don’t happen overnight, but it can happen if you really make the effort. After all, most people really don’t notice that your face isn’t perfect anyway. Who among us has a perfect face? Let’s work on the inside first, I promise that the last thing you will need is surgery to fix anything if you take care of your self esteem!
To your continued success and happiness!
Visit us at the happiness place
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Are your moods really contagious?
Hello again,
We all know that the common cold is contagious – most of us catch at least one or more of these nasty annoyances every year. Did you know that your moods can be contagious as well? It may not seem possible, but in a subtle way we all can “catch” another persons bad mood, or good mood, depending on certain factors.
How does this happen? I’m sure you’ve been in a situation before where you’re at work, and someone comes over with something very important that they want to share with you. They seem very excited about it, and pass the good news on to you. If they are conveying to you a happy story about something or someone you also are interested in, or just a funny anecdote that you both find amusing, your mood will undoubtedly be affected at least for a few minutes. You can’t help be put in a good mood! This is an obvious way, but in a more subtle way, what if you just talk briefly with someone on the street, someone you don’t even know. You catch their expression, which seems very distressed and unhappy. Did you know you are very likely to mimic the persons expression, if only for a few milliseconds? Research shows that some people are more prone to pass on their moods due to their more frequent use of facial expressions. Others apparently are more susceptible as a recipient of this contagious effect.
According to Dr. Elaine Hatfield, a psychologist at the University of Hawaii, "Emotional contagion happens within milliseconds, so quick you can't control it, and so subtly that you're not really aware it's going on”. This is more true of very subtle emotions such as cheerfulness, melancholy or irritability, because the vast majority of emotional life, researchers have found, is in this range. Your not likely to “go ballistic” because you see someone else having a temper tantrum, luckily. But in every day life we not only pass on our moods to others, but catch certain moods from other people depending on a) the relative strength of one persons mood, compared to another person and b) the level of synchronicity that is being experienced by the two people. If one person is in a relatively depressed or sad mood, he or she will seek out another who is also in the same mood. For some reason we all seek to “validate” our moods and so it appears we feel drawn to people that share our mood at the moment. "People seek to confirm whatever view they hold of themselves, even if, for the moment, it is a negative one," said Dr. Gordon Bower, a psychologist at Stanford University who is a leader in the research on moods. "In general, you seek out people who are in the same mood you are in."
It is perhaps no surprise that people's moods affect how they see their future. On a daily basis, we aren’t aware of these subtle swings in mood. Psychologists point out that people are largely unaware that a good or bad mood is creating an optimistic or pessimistic outlook: it simply seems that the facts support one or another view. Aren’t we conscious of this? Appalling.
So how can we use this to our advantage? Ah, yes. You knew I was going to try and find a useful connection in all of this at some point, didn’t you? The lesson to be learned, if not obvious, is to stay away from depressed people! Ok, that’s probably not fair. You don’t want to seem insensitive to others feelings, so let’s just say that if you are confronted with another person that is in a decidedly bad or depressed mood, remind yourself that you are in a good mood and try not to “catch” the other persons mood. In fact it would be good if you could try your best to transfer some of your happiness to the other person, although that can many times be a difficult task!
Either way, do your best to be conscious of your moods on a daily basis. In this way you have more control over not only your mood, but also whether you are affected by the moods of others. I don’t know if some people are “carriers” or not, but if so I would want to be a carrier of good moods rather than bad. Just another of my points of happiness to strive for, I guess. And by the way, if you’re in a bad mood, keep your distance ok? Just kidding…
To your continued success and happiness!
Find happiness here!
We all know that the common cold is contagious – most of us catch at least one or more of these nasty annoyances every year. Did you know that your moods can be contagious as well? It may not seem possible, but in a subtle way we all can “catch” another persons bad mood, or good mood, depending on certain factors.
How does this happen? I’m sure you’ve been in a situation before where you’re at work, and someone comes over with something very important that they want to share with you. They seem very excited about it, and pass the good news on to you. If they are conveying to you a happy story about something or someone you also are interested in, or just a funny anecdote that you both find amusing, your mood will undoubtedly be affected at least for a few minutes. You can’t help be put in a good mood! This is an obvious way, but in a more subtle way, what if you just talk briefly with someone on the street, someone you don’t even know. You catch their expression, which seems very distressed and unhappy. Did you know you are very likely to mimic the persons expression, if only for a few milliseconds? Research shows that some people are more prone to pass on their moods due to their more frequent use of facial expressions. Others apparently are more susceptible as a recipient of this contagious effect.
According to Dr. Elaine Hatfield, a psychologist at the University of Hawaii, "Emotional contagion happens within milliseconds, so quick you can't control it, and so subtly that you're not really aware it's going on”. This is more true of very subtle emotions such as cheerfulness, melancholy or irritability, because the vast majority of emotional life, researchers have found, is in this range. Your not likely to “go ballistic” because you see someone else having a temper tantrum, luckily. But in every day life we not only pass on our moods to others, but catch certain moods from other people depending on a) the relative strength of one persons mood, compared to another person and b) the level of synchronicity that is being experienced by the two people. If one person is in a relatively depressed or sad mood, he or she will seek out another who is also in the same mood. For some reason we all seek to “validate” our moods and so it appears we feel drawn to people that share our mood at the moment. "People seek to confirm whatever view they hold of themselves, even if, for the moment, it is a negative one," said Dr. Gordon Bower, a psychologist at Stanford University who is a leader in the research on moods. "In general, you seek out people who are in the same mood you are in."
It is perhaps no surprise that people's moods affect how they see their future. On a daily basis, we aren’t aware of these subtle swings in mood. Psychologists point out that people are largely unaware that a good or bad mood is creating an optimistic or pessimistic outlook: it simply seems that the facts support one or another view. Aren’t we conscious of this? Appalling.
So how can we use this to our advantage? Ah, yes. You knew I was going to try and find a useful connection in all of this at some point, didn’t you? The lesson to be learned, if not obvious, is to stay away from depressed people! Ok, that’s probably not fair. You don’t want to seem insensitive to others feelings, so let’s just say that if you are confronted with another person that is in a decidedly bad or depressed mood, remind yourself that you are in a good mood and try not to “catch” the other persons mood. In fact it would be good if you could try your best to transfer some of your happiness to the other person, although that can many times be a difficult task!
Either way, do your best to be conscious of your moods on a daily basis. In this way you have more control over not only your mood, but also whether you are affected by the moods of others. I don’t know if some people are “carriers” or not, but if so I would want to be a carrier of good moods rather than bad. Just another of my points of happiness to strive for, I guess. And by the way, if you’re in a bad mood, keep your distance ok? Just kidding…
To your continued success and happiness!
Find happiness here!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
How much attention do we really need?
I’m writing today about something that happened very recently in the news, and I just couldn’t ignore it. It’s one of those things that you just have to pay attention to, because you think there can’t be any way it’s true! Apparently a woman in Florida went to a McDonalds restaurant where she planned on buying some “mc-nuggets” for her dinner. She ordered the nuggets, paid for them, and waited for her order. After a few minutes she was told they had run out of this fine culinary treat for which she had already paid for, but they would be glad to give her something else instead. Well, being a huge fan of the nuggets, this woman would have none of it. After being told the store had a “no refund” policy, she went outside and dialed 911 and promptly reported to the police that she couldn’t get her nuggets, and they wouldn’t give her the money back. Ok, you probably think I made this up, but no. It really happened. And the worst part is, she called three times because the police didn’t respond fast enough!
I’m not going to try and defend the McDonalds in any way, because they showed a true lack of customer service skills in this case in my opinion. However, what is it that would make a person call the police because they couldn’t have exactly the meal they ordered at a fast-food restaurant? Is this in any way a police related emergency? Of course not, any rational or even remotely sane person knows that’s not what the 911 emergency system is for. Of course, the woman was arrested and cited for abusing the emergency system, to her surprise no doubt. But what is really going on here? Can anybody take a guess? Of course, another case of someone seeking their 15 minutes of fame. Oh, yeah. She is now on every newscast from New York to California, the three audio tapes from her separate phone calls to 911 (which are recorded automatically, and are public record!) are now on more than a dozen websites including YouTube.com. Yes, she will be famous in no time! How impressive.
Why is this a common thing in our country? I’m not sure if it’s really something that happens in Europe, or Japan, or Iceland, or any other country or continent of the world. Possibly just in good ol’ US, right here, where attention can get you on TV, get you interviewed by famous personalities, and if you’re lucky get you a tour of the country on the talk show circuit. Why, some even get book deals worth millions! Just get your face plastered all over the news for doing something outrageous, whether it’s good or bad really doesn’t matter, and people start a “buzz” over it very quickly. Once you are on YouTube, forget it. You are seen by thousands in matter of hours, possibly hundreds of thousands even. Are we that starved for attention in this country? Is there some kind of payoff for doing this crap? I guess if you are the kind of person that is just starved for attention, maybe because you weren’t hugged as a child or whatever, it fills some void in your life. But really, is it worth it? This woman will quickly become the laughing stock of her town and be unable to go anywhere with being laughed at and pointed at
for months. I really hope she’s happy.
Visit my website for more happiness for life
I’m not going to try and defend the McDonalds in any way, because they showed a true lack of customer service skills in this case in my opinion. However, what is it that would make a person call the police because they couldn’t have exactly the meal they ordered at a fast-food restaurant? Is this in any way a police related emergency? Of course not, any rational or even remotely sane person knows that’s not what the 911 emergency system is for. Of course, the woman was arrested and cited for abusing the emergency system, to her surprise no doubt. But what is really going on here? Can anybody take a guess? Of course, another case of someone seeking their 15 minutes of fame. Oh, yeah. She is now on every newscast from New York to California, the three audio tapes from her separate phone calls to 911 (which are recorded automatically, and are public record!) are now on more than a dozen websites including YouTube.com. Yes, she will be famous in no time! How impressive.
Why is this a common thing in our country? I’m not sure if it’s really something that happens in Europe, or Japan, or Iceland, or any other country or continent of the world. Possibly just in good ol’ US, right here, where attention can get you on TV, get you interviewed by famous personalities, and if you’re lucky get you a tour of the country on the talk show circuit. Why, some even get book deals worth millions! Just get your face plastered all over the news for doing something outrageous, whether it’s good or bad really doesn’t matter, and people start a “buzz” over it very quickly. Once you are on YouTube, forget it. You are seen by thousands in matter of hours, possibly hundreds of thousands even. Are we that starved for attention in this country? Is there some kind of payoff for doing this crap? I guess if you are the kind of person that is just starved for attention, maybe because you weren’t hugged as a child or whatever, it fills some void in your life. But really, is it worth it? This woman will quickly become the laughing stock of her town and be unable to go anywhere with being laughed at and pointed at
for months. I really hope she’s happy.
Visit my website for more happiness for life
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