You must take risks, to get more rewards!

Good day,



As you may know by now I write an awful lot about motivation and success, and striving for goals. However, there are many different things that stop us from reaching our goals - some people plead ignorance (I don't know where to start!), some just plain procrastinate, and others are paralyzed by fear of the unknown. The unknown being "what would happen if I take a chance and try to go back to college and fail" or something of that nature. This brings me to the subject of risk-taking. Life can be risky, or life can be dull. You just can't have it both ways though. It's either one way or the other for the most part. The thing is that without risk we never challenge ourselves, we never try new things, we never get ahead.



I know a bit about fear, believe me. I was afraid for many years to try certain things; the risk of failure was just too great. But if you think about it we don't grow as human beings without risking something in life. We don't get new jobs without some risk, we don't get a new lover without some risk, and we just don't get much of anything good in life without some risk! So what is it that holds us back, besides fear? Besides the fear of losing, the fear of being wrong, the fear of offending someone else, the fear of other people knowing something about us that makes us vulnerable, is there possibly a larger fear? How about fear of knowing that if we don't do the things in life that really matter to us, we will die knowing we could have done more? That is one of my fears, too. If you project yourself 40, 50, 60 years into the future (depending on your current age) and see yourself in the future, what do you want others to think of you? What accomplishments do you want to be able to brag about to your grand kids? What can you think of that if not master or accomplished, will leave you feeling shorted in life?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we have to strike a balance between the things we're most afraid of doing, and the things we will eventually regret if we don't do them. After all, by the time we're adults we realize that taking risks rarely results in death or dismemberment. This does not apply to the crew of Jackass, of course. For most people, taking risks involves the possibility of being embarrassed, or losing money, or breaking up a relationship, something that stings but rarely is fatal. I like to say, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" If you balance that with the best thing that could happen, the best possible outcome of your risk-taking, it's almost always worth it. Or is it? You decide for yourself, but let's look at some comparisons that I totally made up just now:



Risk #1 - Certain baseball players are notorious for their ability to get hits consistently, most notably Reggie Jackson. How often do we associate great sluggers with being risk-takers though? They are, if they want to be known as homerun kings, because it's a fact that most homerun kings also have the most strikeouts. Why? The only way to hit a homer is to fully commit to swinging as hard as you can at the pitch. Most players are too tentative, and are lucky to get a single or double. Jackson struck out 2,597 times while getting 563 home runs. Not a bad average, eh?



Risk #2 - The founding fathers of our country! Yes, our founding fathers were risking everything to break away from Great Britain. They all knew that when they gathered to write the Declaration of Independence back in 1776, if they were caught they would all most likely hang. But the risk was obviously worth it, since founding this new country was they only way to break free from the tyranny of England and arise a free nation. Great risk, great reward! I'm so glad they did, too.



Risk #3 - How about Donald Trump? Love him or hate him, he lost nearly everything back in the late 1980's but came back to score bigger than ever. How did he do it? He risked it all by telling the banks they better renegotiate his loans with them, or they would lose it all. (And that worked?) He knows that only risk-takers make it big, although sometimes they lose big too. What is the difference? Guys like Trump don't mind risking it again, starting over if necessary, trying something new, despite the odds.



Ok, those are just a few of the risky people I can mention here. I'm sure if you think about it you can name more, but what about you? Are you willing to take a risk, to start that business, or go back to college, or train for a marathon, or finally meet that women at the library you can't help thinking about (yes, I saw you checking her out)? We have to if we want to stretch ourselves, to move beyond our ordinary lives. Another way to look at it is why not go for the reward, rather than think about the risk? If you can focus on what you stand to gain the chances you will finally just "go for it" are much greater. So go ahead, get out there and take some chances, the odds are with you! Besides, I know you can do it...

Visit us at our new blog: motivation in retirement

What's your happiness set point?

Hello and good day,

Are you one those people that are almost always happy, no matter what is happening in your life? Well me neither, but I’ve known a few people like that in my life and it never ceases to amaze me at their natural ability to maintain a smile every day. A friend of mine is like that, and I have to shake my head in amazement when something goes wrong and he just makes a joke as if it was nothing. That is definitely a great attitude!

Is that a natural inborn thing? I think in some people it is, and really if you think about it we all have a “happiness set point” when we’re born, just a genetic predisposition like any other. Some folks have brown hair, others blonde. Some are left-handed and others are weird. Yes, I’m left-handed. Why do you ask? Anyway, it has to be like any other trait we are born with. Studies have been done on twins and results have shown that we’re born with a “predisposition to feel and express emotions within a certain range”, which varies within a certain range. However, the larger part of our happiness set point is thought to be within our power since actions we take and thoughts we control are obviously a huge part of that influence on happiness. A psychologist by the name of Martin Seligman (University of Pennsylvania) was at least partly responsible for research in this area of positive psychology. He also was one of the first to encourage other researchers to pay more attention to this positive psychology instead of focusing so much on the mentally unbalanced. Thanks, Marty!

So if you are not one of the few lucky ones that is born in a great mood all the time, what to do? Luckily there are many ways to boost our happiness, and according to researchers Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kennon Sheldon, and David Schkade there is even a happiness equation to illustrate this important relationship:
S + C + V = H (set point + circumstances + voluntary behavior = happiness). What that means is that you are born with a certain happiness set point but you don’t have to be satisfied with your life the way you are born. You can change your circumstances by making changes to your behavior. The question is, what changes should you make? In other words, what makes you happy? That is a question you will have to answer yourself, because everyone is different. Nevertheless, I really believe that is the hardest part for many people!

I know it’s insane, but many people seem to drift through life with no real “long-term” vision, which means they know what makes them happy for the moment, but not what will really fulfill their needs on a long-term basis. That, in my opinion, is the real definition of happiness. Once you figure out the really important things, you can then start making solid plans for obtaining those goals. Do I really love my job? How about my career path? How about my relationship, do I see myself staying where I’m at for the next five years, ten years, even twenty years? Am I spiritually where I want to be? If not, how can I get there? (I know I’m getting off track with the happiness set point topic, but don’t worry I will tie this all together soon). These are questions of course that people have asked since the days of Aristotle. In fact he actually said “all human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.” Well I guess that narrows it down pretty well, thanks Ari. But how much control do we really have, and how much is inborn and thus difficult to change?

The good news is that most modern psychologists say between 50% and 80% of our happiness is really under our control! (In other words, don’t try to blame your parents if you are a grump). And of course we can’t be happy all the time either, in fact it’s probably not even a realistic goal to set. But if you work on a well-defined list of characteristics that most happy people seem to present, your chances are certainly much improved. I have read that the happiest among us have these traits in common:

1. enjoy what they do for a living
2. have close relationships with family & friends
3. have a certain amount of faith (spiritual element)
4. describe themselves as optimists
5. have at least a modicum of good health
6. and last, but not least, have enough material things that they don’t worry about food or shelter for themselves or their family

I hope this helps some people put in perspective what happiness means to them, and how much we really can do to change how we feel about it. Don’t wait, make your list today and get started for your happiness.

Visit us at the happiness place for more inspiration

Make it a "do or die" goal this time

Hello again,


What I’m going to say today may sound a little extreme to some of you – I don’t really care though. Sometimes you just have to say it the way you think it, no holds barred. This lesson is about making goals, or more to the point, about keeping your goals.

I’m sure you’ve made goals in the past – some of which have been met, and maybe some of which have not quite been reached. Why do you think you can’t reach certain goals? Is it because they are just over your limit, more than you “belief system” can handle?
Or is it because you just didn’t put enough weight on them? What do I mean by that you ask? I mean are they goals that you can’t live without. Goals that mean so much to you that if they aren’t met, you feel as if you have failed miserably. At some point in your life you will probably have a few goals like this, ones that you know if you don’t reach it will haunt you forever, you just can’t give them up for anything. I have a special name for my goals like this…

They are the “do or die” goals – or DOD for short. Yes, I said it. If I don’t reach some of the goals I set for myself I will feel really dead inside, so I may as well be dead. Ok, not literally, but they are must have things in life that drive me every day, no matter what else is going on in my life. The top of the line if you will, and I’m sure you have a at least one or two of them too. What would these goals be you ask? I think maybe most people would say finding the perfect mate to marry, that “soul mate” that they need in life to be completely happy deep down. Others may say that a financial goal is most important, or finding that perfect gig, career, job with the perfect company, or perfect home business. What ever it is, you must have it, do or die, no matter what.

I believe it was Curtis Jackson (aka Fifty Cent, the rapper) who made the expression popular, but many have probably also said it as well – that he wanted to “get rich or die trying”. That is a little extreme, I know. However, like Curtis, if you have a goal in your mind that you must reach, then that is how you feel about it. Now I know that thought goes against nearly every person that espouses the law of attraction mindset, which is to be spiritual and giving and to let the energy flow until you feel it inside, then all the happiness will flow from your very being and all your dreams will come true. Right? Well I think that sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to reach your goals (short of hurting others or taking advantage of anyone else) and set your mind in motion to reach them no matter what, do or die. If that goes against your philosophy, I’m not going to apologize or feel badly. You must make your own judgment as to how far you will go, how hard you will work, what sacrifices you will make to reach your goals. Am I talking mostly about a “psychological paradigm” here? I believe that’s the word for it, yes. It’s the ability to reach a certain level of mindset where you are obsessed, totally devoured by your goals. Some would say that is wrong, but maybe those people just don’t have what it takes to be successful and reach their goals. I still believe you must have a balance in life, but there are certain times that you need that extra push, that do or die mindset, to get where you need to go. If you agree with me, let me know. Otherwise, let’s just agree to disagree, ok?

To your continued success and happiness!


Check out my new retirement blog for great tips: financial planning in retirement

Do you have the magic ingredient to success?

Good day,

I know a lot of you probably think you have it, but if you're not headed quickly in the direction of your goals, and having at least a modicum of success, you may be missing the main ingredient to success in life. What is it? It's what makes you keep going when you really don't feel like working any more. It's what causes you to keep making changes at your job, or business, or whatever it is you do, until you are totally satisfied it's "right". It's what makes good people great, and keep doing what they do year in and year out.

Ok, if you can't guess what I'm talking about I must divulge the secret - one word, discipline. Yup, that's it. Without it the smartest person can't do much at all. Without it, the most talented people in the world fall flat on their faces! It's the one thing you just can't be successful without, am I right? So do you have enough of it yet? Could it be that is the main reason you aren't reaching the kind of success you have been looking for?

I speak and write a lot about having passion for what you do in life, whether it's your job or business, and I still think that's extremely important to success as well. However, without the discipline to keep focused on what you need to do every day it's very hard to accomplish what you need to do. As they say, good intentions are useless without the follow through, and that is done with discipline. You don't have to be a drill sargeant, but if you can't make yourself do what you have to do on a daily basis, you are just not going to make it this competitive world my friend! It's that simple...

So I guess the question begs - if I don't have enough discipline, how can I improve it? Is it something I can fix? Of course, being lazy isn't a genetic defect, it's just a bad habit like many others. If you have that habit, then you have to break it fast. Will it take some work? You bet, it's gonna take a bunch of work. Like any bad habit you have to first resolve yourself that it can be changed, and they way to break any habit is to be conscious about it and know your weaknesses. You aren't consciously being lazy, are you? It's something that you do without thinking most likely, so start being conscious and in control more each day. Also, write down the things you want to accomplish on a daily basis, this forces you to think about what you know you need to do, and the excuse of "I forgot!" is totally taken away. If you need to, keep that list with you at all times. I must say, I make the lists myself nearly every day because I know if I don't I will forget something, so do it! If it works, keep doing it. If it doesn't work for you, try harder or try something else. Everybody is different, but some things like this work for almost everybody.

You know, that's the thing about discipline. If you don't have any at all, it's going to be a bunch of work to develop it. But the work will be well worth it, because you will notice your productivity will explode and you will find you can accomplish much more on a daliy basis. Besides what's the alternative? Go through life being lazy and unproductive? I don't think so! You must, for your own good, get this magic ingredient to success. So write it down, tattoo it on your arm, whatever you need to do. Just get it!

To your continued success and happiness!

Do New Years resolutions work?

Happy New Year & hello,

Every year many people typically make some kind of New Years resolution - whether it's to quit smoking, lose weight, make more money, be on time, or whatever. Usually it's something that they would like to do or quit doing, and that would improve their lives in the long run. So what's wrong with that? Nothing, nothing at all. It's a positive step in the right direction for most people, so that's the good part. The bad part about resolutions is that in most cases they just don't work, period. Have you ever in your life known anybody that actually quit smoking on the first day of a new year, and never started again? How about losing weight - do you know anybody that lost a bunch of weight and kept it off after starting a new diet on the first day of the year? I haven't...

Ok, I'm not one to be negative. I'm always finding positive in everything so what can I find that's positive about resolutions? The best thing about them, as I said before, is they are a positive step in the right direction. If people only think about changing themselves once a year, on the first day of that year, so be it. Some people never even consider that at all! So the good thing is at least it's a start. The keyword is "start", because it's never the end all for anyone. If getting yourself to see your bad habits once a year get's you to make some changes, that's good. Of course it would be much better to think that way all year long, but most people are "too busy" to think about that stuff on a regular basis. Sad, but true. So what about making a New Years resolution to start being a better person all year long? Wow, if only we could stick to that for more than a few days.

I believe most people have other reasons for making resolutions, too. The passing of another year has a psychological impact on everybody, like a marking of time that has passed before our eyes. If you have a really big, landmark birthday coming up, it's even more significant. Are you turning 30 this year? Maybe a decade or two more than that? Ok, you know what I mean then. The passing of certain birthdays really mean a lot to us, a realization that we are not only growing older, but may be missing our chance to do certain things or become what we really want to be as a person. Did you always wish you could travel around the world, but realize that time is running out for you? Or maybe go back to college and finish your degree, or get training for that job you always wanted. The passing of time makes us a little nervous about reaching these landmark changes in our lives, and I believe that has something to do with the whole resolution thing.

So does that mean we shouldn't make resolutions, since most of us won't adhere to them anyway? Of course not! What we should do is make resolutions more often, but call them goals instead, and write them down. Writing things down has a way of making them more real, and in some ways holds our feet to the fire a little bit. If you make a New Years resolution and don't even write it down, the odds that you will even remember it in 2-3 weeks are slim, let alone still be pusuing it! So my advice (which I do myself, of course) is to write down your goals for the year coming up, and seriously think about ways to achieve them. Then post them on your mirror in the bathroom or somewhere you will see them every day. This way you won't be able to forget them. It might even help if you tell a loved one or spouse about some of them, which will give you some support to really take this seriously. Ultimately, only you have the power to make changes in your life, so get busy living!

Visit us at the happiness place for more helpful articles!

The best skill - making decisions

Hello,

Are you pretty good at making decisions? How do you know if you are or aren't? Well, some people seem to make decisions pretty quickly, and others take forever. Which method is the best? In general I believe being decisive is a good thing, in other words being able to quickly weigh your options and decide what is the best choice. Look at it this way, if you are the type of person who can never seem to make up their mind, doesn't it make your decisions that much harder and painful? So what is the real deal, is it fear of making the wrong decision maybe? I believe in most cases, that's the case.

What if you make the wrong decision and it causes problems? Well that's always possible, but not making a decision in the first place is normally worse than making a bad decision. Let me explain that, because I'm sure that doesn't sound logical. Say I put off making a choice of whether I should take a new job that a friend told me about recently. He says it would be different than what I'm doing now, although some of the same skills are involved and I do qualify in many ways for this job. Ok, I'm thinking I "kind of" like my current job, so what are the benefits of the new job that would tempt me? Well, in order to make an informed decision about anything you must weigh the benefits versus that drawbacks. Make a list, take into account your personal choices and how important different aspects of each item on the list really are. As an example of the job:

1. good thing - the pay is slightly higher
2. bad thing - it's in the city and I'm not crazy about that
3. good thing - the company is doing well, my current employer isn't
4. good thing - it's something different, shake up my life a little
5. bad thing - it's different, and I may not like doing it

Ok, you see where I'm going with this right? These are all totally hypothetical reasons which I just made up, but very possibly things you may have to decide in the future. You also have to thing about the intangibles, such as what if you don't take this job and then get laid off from your current job? Are you by nature a risk-taker or do you look for the security first in any new position? If you value security and safety, perhaps staying at your current job is more prudent because at least it's a known factor. Not knowing what is going to happen is pretty scary for a lot of people and not worth the risk. I guess if you are going to lie awake at night worrying about the job situation, it might be a bad idea.

Alright, that's just a hypothetical situation. But if you have a real problem making important decisions about your future, perhaps you need to evaluate why that is true. Some people just don't like to make decisions. If that's the case, I suggest you try to change that, since making decisions in life is a very critical skill that every adult needs to have. Are you really that afraid of making the wrong decision? What's the worst that could happen, you will have to change your mind and maybe lose a little time, money, etc. in the process. Back to reality, folks. We all have made bad decisions at one time or another! We just have to learn from them, that's all. Try to figure out why it was a bad decision, what brought you to that decision, and how you would change that next time. Did you weight all the options first? Did you go with your "gut" instinct, because usually that is the best way to go, although not always. Perhaps you have a friend that is knowledgeable about the situation you're in and asking him or her would be beneficial.

Anyway, I have a decision to make here. Whether to ramble on for another 300 words, or just cut this blog short and be done with it. Ok, one more point - sometimes it's a great idea to take a chance, take advantage of an opportunity, and just go for it. If your decision is anything about that kind of situation, I say go for it. But that's just me...

To your continued success and happiness!

Visit us often at the happiness place

Try future-thinking for greater success

Hello friend,

Today I want to discuss a topic that is a little bit esoteric – not many people really know what I mean when I speak of “future-thinking”, but I wanted to explain because it has helped me so much that I feel I must. I’m not talking about literally predicting the future, although if you work your plan well enough that’s pretty much how it turns out. I really mean that you should not only plan for the future, but truly project yourself into the future, envisioning what your life will look like after you reach all of your major goals.

In order to do that you must first have a list of goals, which I assume you already do. (If not, please make that list pronto, it’s one of the most important things you’ll ever do to achieve success at all). Look at your list and then think about what it means to you – what are doing five, ten, twenty years from now? Where will you live, in a nice 5-bedroom home in a nearby gated community? Or maybe in that mansion by the edge of town where the millionaires live? Who will be with you, the woman/man of your dreams? Your family, if you have one already? How happy will you all be? What kind of routine will you have, working from the house for a few hours a day, or maybe in a high rise office building that accommodates the most prestigious firms in the state?

All of these details must be made clear in your mind, in order to make “future-thinking” work for you. Not only must you think of these things in great detail, you must emotionalize them, get excited about them, every day or even several times a day if possible. These are you dreams! Make them come alive, make them as real as possible for you. Use your imagination to believe that these things are happening now in your world. Then once you are clear on your goals in detail, the next step is to put your detailed plan into action.

This is one step many seem to forget about, the action and how important it is. You can have the most creative, detailed, well-thought out plan ever devised but if you don’t take action it is useless! So take that plan, and think about every little thing that you must do to make it work, every day. Even with my current plan I usually sit down several nights a week and review everything in my plan, and decide what is working and what isn’t. Am I on track to reach my goals? Some and not others, possibly? What do I need to do tomorrow, next week, next month to reach these goals. That is what you ought to be asking yourself every day. Make sure the actions you are taking are working, at least getting you in the right direction of your goals. If they aren’t, then make the necessary changes now, and take the next step. See if those changes work. If not, make some more alterations in your actions, then reassess again to make sure you are making progress. I’m sure you have heard the expression “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. That is how you must think, to take that long journey.

Just remember the goals that are in your future, if you can still keep those dreams alive every day they will feed your hunger for success and keep you motivated to continue. Think how fantastic your future will be! If you don’t get excited about that, you need to do some serious thinking about what your dreams mean to you, because they aren’t getting you very far.
I know you can do better! We all can, if we just look into the future and see how great it can be.

To your continued success and happiness!

Sincerely,

Doug Hart, CHO of GetPassionForLife.com

Don’t forget to visit us at our new blog: motivation in retirement

Develop amnesia, if you want to be happier...

Hello again,

Many times in life, things happen that are just not exactly what we really wanted – you know, bad things. They happen to everybody, whether your short or tall, rich or poor, educated or not, and there’s not a lot you can do to stop bad things from happening. Try as we may, plan all you want and get as much preparation as you possibly can, but sometimes circumstances just don’t go the way we want them to.

So what is a person supposed to do? Well, I guess it depends on the circumstances, if it’s something unexpected like someone nearly colliding with your car in traffic it’s hard to control the emotional rush of anger. That actually happened to me just today, which is one reason I’m writing this little piece. As I was slowly backing out of a parking space at the bookstore to leave, a car that had just past me suddenly stopped, put the car in reverse, and backed up very quickly towards my car. I thought there’s not way they don’t see me, right? I had zero time to react, and the car came within inches of hitting me as I watched helplessly. The car finally stopped after passing me, I guess finding the “perfect spot” to park. The driver looked over at me in shock, realizing how close she was to slamming into my car. Ooops, sorry!

Ok, did I a) calmly put my car in drive and leave b) jump out of my car screaming and shaking my fist or c) drive away, shaking with the adrenaline due to the realization I was nearly broadsided. If you picked “C” give yourself two points, but it took a good 10 minutes before I was able to calm down completely. I have to say it is one of those things that happens to me probably once a year, and I’ve only been in one really bad accident. But bad things like this happen all the time, so how do you deal with it? Well, I’ve learned to develop amnesia just for these occasions.

That may sound a little tough to do, but stay with me. Your emotions tend to take over, at least for awhile, but once you regain control you just have to forget it. Just act like it didn’t happen! Does it always work? Not immediately, but with a little practice you can forget things like this pretty quickly. That’s the main point, you must practice this. Quickly think of something else, like where was I going and what was I doing before being so rudely interrupted by this little distraction? Then, move on. Really, it’s the best thing to do for your sanity.

Not only does this work for things like near collisions, but it works for lots of bad things. Locked your keys in your car? Get over it, move on. The IRS is reviewing your taxes? Ok, fix it first then move on. Didn’t get a raise this year? Join the club, times are tough all around, it’s a bad thing but we just have to deal and move on. Your water heater just quit on you and there’s water all over your floor? Yep, been there too. Lot’s of things like these happen to all of us, some more often than others, but they happen. And we can do one of two things – either cry about and complain til’ we’re blue in the face, or just develop amnesia and forget it. I personally think the best way is to forget. Why? What good does it do to get angry, throw a fit, and stew all day when you have the ability to just say “whatever” and forget it?
Logically, you know I’m right. But you’re probably saying “I can’t do that!” – because of the whole emotional control thing. Like I said, it takes practice.

If it helps any, practice what psychologists call “changing state”. (No, don’t move to where things are much easier. There is no place like that). Changing state means to break out of whatever emotional state you happen to be in, and quickly change it to another one. For instance, in a situation where you experience a very bad scare, your heart-rate is raised and your breathing is very rapid. In order to quickly change this state, just take several slow, deep breaths. At the same time think of something else that is calming – like that day at the beach you spent with the family last summer, or giant pink elephants if it helps! Very soon you should be back on track, all calmed down and focused to do what you originally had planned. What was I going to do now? Oh, yeah. That amnesia can be tough to break.


To your continued success and happiness!

Don’t forget to visit us at http://getpassionforlife.com for regular updates!

Develop powerful beliefs

good day again,

When I mention beliefs, most people immediately relate this in some way to religion. That’s not the belief that I’m referring to, although that is one type of belief of course. I’m talking about what you believe to be true for yourself and your future. What you believe, deep down, about yourself internally. Our beliefs about who we are can be created by many things, mostly by our environment and how we were brought up. In addition, our experiences in life have a great impact on our beliefs. What were you taught when you were young about the possibilities for your future, what occupation you should pursue, how much income you would have?

If you’re like most people, including myself, not much was ever said so you just looked around you and made your own assumptions. If you grew up in a small town where nearly everyone worked in a coal mine, then your future looked pretty dark, literally. However if you grew up in a well-to-do area where nearly everyone was college educated and had either a solid profession or a business, then you probably saw many more possibilities for yourself. Regardless, other factors have a great impact on your beliefs.

One of the most important things that effect our beliefs is the way we talk to ourselves internally. When you are presented with a task, either at school or at your job, if you tell yourself there’s no way I’m going to get this done, then chances are you won’t! When I say “tell yourself”, that’s exactly what we do, by a method known as internal dialog. We don’t of course consciously tell ourselves, but on an almost subconscious level we have mini-conversations with ourselves every minute of every day! They are constant and never ending, and cause us to make decisions that are vital to our lives. Wouldn’t it be better if we had more control over these decisions, these thoughts that are constantly bouncing around in our heads? In order to change our actions, we must learn (through habit) to control this dialog as much as possible in order to control our actions. Internal dialog is such a major force in our lives that we must learn to change, and use it to our benefit instead of our detriment. Of course, it may be impossible to control completely, because external forces are always causing us to lose our focus in so many ways. But believe me the sooner you learn to believe in what you can do in a positive way, and block out all of the negative self-talk that floods most peoples minds, the sooner you will be on your way to reaching your goals. At the end of this book I have some exercises that will help, make sure to check those out!

Most people have other beliefs that need to be changed as well, ones that cripple us every day without our even knowing it. Limiting beliefs about not only what we can or can’t do, but also what we deserve in life. Many people unfortunately have a negative self-image that limits them in life, almost like a “governor” on a large engine that only allows 50% of the power to be used! This negative image is a constant nagging reminder that says “I’m not good enough” or “I could never make a million dollars”. Don’t believe it for one minute! The only difference between the mindset of someone that makes a million dollars and one that makes $20K a year as a sales clerk is BELIEF in what they can do. You must begin right now to tell yourself every day that you are indeed capable of becoming whatever you wish to become, whether it’s a millionaire, successful at your chosen career, an actor/actress, a writer, or whatever your goals are. Remember, if anyone can do it, you can repeat that persons success by first believing that you can do it, then following their example and modeling their behavior.

There are many ways to model another persons behavior, you can find a mentor and copy their strategies for success at whatever skill you need to learn. Even learning from a book about this person, if you can’t find a mentor that can teach you directly, will suffice. The key is to learn how others perform and duplicate their process, whether you are learning to ski, trade stocks on Wall Street, or run a business successfully. The principles need to be learned from someone who is already successful, and copying someone that’s already doing what you want to be skilled at will help speed this process.

Another very important aspect of belief is a little thing called “self-esteem”, something many people are woefully short on. The problem with building self-esteem is that our belief in what we can accomplish in life is so embedded in our minds by the time we are adults, it takes a very strong process to repair if it is damaged. You see a lot of our beliefs are formed when we are quite young, by accident or by someone simply telling us we are “stupid” or we’ll “never amount to anything”, or similar words that sink into our subconscious and take hold without our knowing it. In order to change our thoughts internally and thus our beliefs, we must change that thought process. How do we do it? By talking to our subconscious mind, repeating phrases that help to strengthen our self-esteem once again. This may sound strange to some people but try this anyway; it works and has worked for thousands of people. Write several phrases down on paper, things that you want to believe in that will improve your self-esteem, and repeat them to yourself at least twice a day in the morning and before going to bed at night. Things such as “I can accomplish anything in life I desire”, or “my success is up to me, and I chose to be successful”. From now on make sure that you have a strong conviction that anything you want in life can be accomplished, because your belief will make it so. If at first you aren’t sure you really believe it with all your heart, continue to “act” as if you do anyway. In time, your beliefs will be in step with the new you. Remember that beliefs held for a long time may change slowly, but with a powerful desire and passion to change them you are destined for success and happiness. This I assure you…


To your continued success and happiness!


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Your happiness and health - related?

Good day,

If you asked someone to name the most important aspects of happiness, what do you think would be the most common answers? Let’s start with maybe the top three, that should make a little bit easier. For many people a belief in God (or a higher power) is their number one source of happiness. Others who are less inclined towards religion would probably state that their close relationships are their biggest source of happiness, especially those married with children. Even those without children may say a “loving relationship” would be near the top, which can of course be defined in different ways for different types of people. After all, we all need love, right?

After those two “biggies” that would probably leave finances in the third spot most likely, at least in most polls and studies that I’ve seen. Even if you don’t care to be rich, you still need a certain level of comfort in order to maintain a level of happiness which lasts any length of time. I’m not certain that finances wouldn’t be some peoples top choice for happiness, but of course I’m trying to base my order on reality and percentages that seem more realistic, not on the basis of a small group of money-hungry individuals. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

So what comes next on the list? Most studies and polls that I’ve read put “good health” somewhere on that list, and for good reason! No matter how great your relationships are, or how much comfort you have in life, you pretty much have to be at least somewhat healthy to enjoy them, right? Of course there are those that argue that truly enjoying life means not having to limit the food they eat, or amount of liquor they drink, because happiness for them is doing whatever they want for the joy of the moment. I don’t try to change the minds of those who express those opinions, I just don’t have the time or patience to get through to them! I do admit they have a right to their opinions.

As a nation, we are probably known for our tendency to overindulge a bit, especially when it comes to food. Are we the unhealthiest people on the planet? Possibly, quite possibly. Although the jury may be out on that one, we have to admit that we’re a little lax in this country when it comes to good health. Not everyone of course. There are those that run their marathons, trek faithfully to the gym every day, and have taken up the vegetarian or at least a healthy diet, realizing that we must take care of the only physical container for our spirit we have. Recent polls show that about half of all Americans exercise on a weekly basis or more, which isn’t all that great.

However, is that all there is to good health? Just exercise a few days a week, and watch our diet so we don’t eat too much fattening foods? I really think it’s more than that, I would go so far as to add these to the list:

1. Get regular checkups – they can warn us of any disease before it may be too late
2. Make sure you get enough vitamins and minerals in your diet, most people don’t
3. Don’t forget to relax, get a massage, or take up meditation. Stress is a real killer!
4. Get plenty of sleep; many people have problems with this. See your doctor if you can’t sleep
5. Have lots of social connections, it’s great for long-term health
6. Drink plenty of water
7. Don’t smoke! Pretty obvious…

Anyway, these are just a few tips I like to live by. We should all make an effort to live longer, happier lives and I believe that if you are taking good care of your body you are also more likely to be happy. The mind is very much linked to the body, so if one is out of balance it isn’t very long until it affects the other. So do yourself a favor and take care of both, ok?

To your continues success and happiness!